Unanswered [8] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by Anushaisawesome
Name: Anusha Singh
Joined: Jul 19, 2015
Last Post: Jul 20, 2015
Threads: 1
Posts: 4  
Likes: 1
From: United States
School: Olentangy Liberty High school

Displayed posts: 5
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Anushaisawesome   
Jul 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / Youngsters freed from parents as soon as possible. How to judge this? [5]

I feel your conclusion can be a little longer. Overall, you had meaningful points but the third paragraph lacked some what in the way you presented your view. It's good that you thought about a personal example but you could have thought of a stronger one. It's like you are suggesting that we get pressure to do things only from our parents and not from teachers, coaches, peers, etc. I feel your example could have been a bit more relavent to a 'parents only problem'. For the sake of formality, I think you can do without the word 'awesome'. Nice try!! Above all, you had good points!
Anushaisawesome   
Jul 20, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should Censorship exist or not? [3]

Thanks @Dieu Anh I appreciate the criticism. Okay, so I will make my examples a bit more wide ranging. Can anyone tell me what they would score my essay out of 12? And what about my other paragraphs? More helpful criticism is needed!!
Anushaisawesome   
Jul 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Opportunities when working in a team. No need to worry about negatives. [3]

Hey Yamigi,
I feel you have good points but you should expand all of them and give some supportive examples to help prove your points better! You can also make your introduction a little more captivating! Overall, you had strong statements but you could add in a few situational examples! For example you can relate some of the pro teamwork statements to your personal life examples on how teamwork helped you achieve something or did the opposite! You can also add in some statistics to enforce your other points!

This is just my opinion so don't take anything too harshly!
Keep writing essays!
Anushaisawesome   
Jul 19, 2015
Book Reports / Topic: How does adversity shape a character - Night by Elie Weisel [3]

I really like the point you are trying to put forward about how adversity may lead to the loss of self identity but I also feel that adversity can also shape character in a positive way! For instance, say a child rose out of his dark past where he grew up in slums with no hope for a future but instead that pushed him even harder to get an education! His adversity is now a thing of his past and has made him mentally stronger and a hardworking individual.

Props to the way you compare your personal life to the life of a character in a book! You proved your point! Your vocabulary and usage of words is really good as well!

Can you review my essay on whether censorship should exist in return?
Anushaisawesome   
Jul 19, 2015
Writing Feedback / Should Censorship exist or not? [3]

Prompt: Almost since human beings began sharing ideas, the issue of censorship (officially suppressing ideas or writing) has been debated. Proponents of censorship argue, for example, that offensive material might morally corrupt children or that governments have the right to protect their national secrets. Opponents argue that censorship infringes on individual freedom and hinders progress. Censorship has long been an issue regarding books and papers; now, it has become a critical issue concerning the great amount of information on the Internet. Given the continued impact of censorship on various aspects of our lives, it is an issue worth examining.

**Feel free to comment on and review my writing!! I would really appreciate it!!**

It is becoming increasingly difficult to monitor censorship on the internet. In a world where various types of censorship is prevalent such as political where the government holds back information from citizens which they don't wish to reveal or religious censorship where the customs of one group may conflict with the views of another. Media censorship is what people are generally made more aware of because of censored lines in movies or maybe the lyrics to your favorite song. Censorship has been an ongoing trend for generations as well as generations to come making it even more difficult to advance in the expanding world of media, culture, politics, etc. In my opinion censorship should be dismantled.

Proponents of censorship argue that offensive material might corrupt the minds of children or that governments have the right to protect their national secrets, but I disagree. The power to decide what the world gets to hear about national issues is concentrated in a very few number of people's hands giving them too much power on to decide what information we as citizens are allowed to know. No democratic government should be allowed to regulate what the citizens know about politics. This is the citizens right to information. Also many times teachers and parents often fail to understand the students maturity level and prevent children from being exposed to material which they may actually be ready for. For instance, school libraries can label books with the degree to which the content may disturb the reader and let the school decide if the student is eligible to read it based on academic performance and their reputation in school. This is because censorship may cut off free flowing ideas of writing which otherwise remain unpondered on. This will also prevent misuse of content, which can be perceived to be harmful to children or certain groups. Hence, I feel this argument is not very convincing.

One important reason why censorship should not exist is because it is very difficult to regulate information that may be perceived inappropriately by certain groups but perceivable by others. For this reason controversies arise. For example, many view the Confederate flag as being racist but others say it honors their heritage and they don't view it that way. Every society has their taboos, norms, customs, religious expressions, etc. and it is impossible to share ideas between everyone when they're conflicting with the views of a group. As unsensitive as this sounds, censorship would do the opposite of promoting advancement in ideas in the world.

Another reason why censorship should not exist is because it often doesn't give out the complete picture on the positive as well as negative aspects, making sources appear very one sided. This prevents students from forming their own opinions on the matter. For example, in my history textbook we studied about a great ruler in India whose name is Akbar, who was praised for his religious tolerance but in reality ,what wasn't mentioned in my textbook, as a result of being a great emperor he took the lives of many innocents drastically changing my opinion of the "oh-so-great" ruler. In the process of censoring all his wrongs we are being denied the truth, as students. This example demonstrates the one sided effect that censoring can have on certain material.

I have concluded that censorship often distracts from the full picture and people have the right to know both sides of the story whether good or bad. It is not about being insensitive or offensive but about letting people formulate their own views instead of immediately accepting all the 'rights' in every situation. "Expression with restraint can't be termed as expression," said by author Peter Carey.
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