Writing Feedback / Some have argued that imagination is not as important as perspiration. CBEST writing [3]

There's a few grammatical errors in the first paragraph: Imagination is a vital characteristic of a human being, but I believe that hard working people that make dreams to come true are more valuable for society. Hard working people [are] not only [capable of] imaging things (a teacher once told me to only use the word "things" as a last resort), but they also master skills, reach goals and investigate further.

In the second paragraph: Imagination itself does not have value if this the idea do[es] not has have a person who works hard to make the idea [a] real [reality]. Also add an "a" in the sentence referencing Steve Jobs between "building" and "personal" and a "they" in the last sentence of the second paragraph between "are" and "useful".

The third paragraph begins abruptly and could use a smoother transition. I would suggest possibly reiterating what business you're talking about.
In the fourth paragraph: Finally, hardworking and experimentation is a good way to see other outcomes and possibilities. I appreciate that you reference your friend from the third paragraph, it's a good way to tie the piece together but I would suggest alternative word choice from "for example" for the sake of not sounding repetitive.

Last paragraph: the first word should be nurturing not nurture. ...cultivate skill