kulty2
Oct 21, 2015
Scholarship / Experiences on living in San Francisco and Panama City - Motivation for Pursuing Graduate School [11]
Hi Everyone, I am applying for a scholarship to graduate school in Biology. This is the first paragraph of my personal statement, and it describes my motivation for choosing to pursue graduate study. I would like to know if 1) the theme of the paragraph is important enough to be the thesis of my first paragraph and 2) how I can make this paragraph stronger and more compelling. Thank you in advance!
Since graduating from college in the spring of 2013, I have met hundreds of people, each of whom was unique and taught me something new about the world. I have learned so much from these diverse encounters that, collectively, they have transformed the way I interact with the people around me. Throughout high school, I learned about human's growing assault on the environment and couldn't grasp another way but to become a self-declared misanthrope. In college, I slowly lost my disenchantment and began to see that, as a writer, I possessed a power to change the status quo. I began to write articles for a fledgling magazine that began widely circulating around campus. This experience taught me the power of the pen, but I would still have to confront my fears of communicating face-to-face.
In August of 2013, I moved to San Francisco for a year, and in March of 2015, I moved to Panama City, Panama. Becoming a stranger in two large cities forced me to seek help from acquaintances to find work, housing, and a sense of belonging. While relying on the the communities of San Francisco and Panama City was, at times, very stressful, finding generosity in every encounter dissipated my fear. These experiences have not only transformed me into a better person, but into a better scientist. Living far from home has taught me how to relay my passion for science and my motivation for research to non-scientists, whether that person be a Panamanian taxi driver or my Guatemalan housemate. On account of the warm people who have welcomed me into their lives, I am able to confront what feels uncomfortable and transform my perspective and the perspective of others, one conversation at a time.
Hi Everyone, I am applying for a scholarship to graduate school in Biology. This is the first paragraph of my personal statement, and it describes my motivation for choosing to pursue graduate study. I would like to know if 1) the theme of the paragraph is important enough to be the thesis of my first paragraph and 2) how I can make this paragraph stronger and more compelling. Thank you in advance!
Since graduating from college in the spring of 2013, I have met hundreds of people, each of whom was unique and taught me something new about the world. I have learned so much from these diverse encounters that, collectively, they have transformed the way I interact with the people around me. Throughout high school, I learned about human's growing assault on the environment and couldn't grasp another way but to become a self-declared misanthrope. In college, I slowly lost my disenchantment and began to see that, as a writer, I possessed a power to change the status quo. I began to write articles for a fledgling magazine that began widely circulating around campus. This experience taught me the power of the pen, but I would still have to confront my fears of communicating face-to-face.
In August of 2013, I moved to San Francisco for a year, and in March of 2015, I moved to Panama City, Panama. Becoming a stranger in two large cities forced me to seek help from acquaintances to find work, housing, and a sense of belonging. While relying on the the communities of San Francisco and Panama City was, at times, very stressful, finding generosity in every encounter dissipated my fear. These experiences have not only transformed me into a better person, but into a better scientist. Living far from home has taught me how to relay my passion for science and my motivation for research to non-scientists, whether that person be a Panamanian taxi driver or my Guatemalan housemate. On account of the warm people who have welcomed me into their lives, I am able to confront what feels uncomfortable and transform my perspective and the perspective of others, one conversation at a time.