dodgers99j
Nov 9, 2015
Undergraduate / Risking it all: UC Personal Statement [3]
Working hard for your future- UC Personal Statement Prompt
Hello everyone, I would like some feedback on my personal statement. The prompt is as follows:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Since coming to the United States, I have been most proud of my my hard work ethic not only in athletics, but also, in my education that is very important to me and my family. When I was young, my parents took a risk to bring their children to the U.S. from Mexico, leaving everything they knew so we'd have the opportunity for a better life. Also, they helped support their families by dropping out of school and going to work with their parents raising animals and growing crops. So they spent their childhood laboring from sunup to sundown with a limited education. Once in California, my parents constructed new lives as they began adapting to a new culture with the help of relatives here in the U.S. Although my parents had limited options and educational opportunities, they've continued to model their positive qualities including a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility while building a future for their children. Today, my dad still works hard in construction, yet comes home extremely tired and aching while my mom works long grueling hours in a meat market so we could experience greater future opportunities in education.
With my dad being a construction worker, I have come accustomed to participating in home construction projects with him. However, in doing so, I have also realized the grueling and demanding work he does and learned the value of hard work and my father's sacrifice in earning a living to support our family. Eventually in my early teens, I realized I wanted to be successful in life in order to lead and provide for my parents later in life, so they no longer would have to struggle to survive. This reality check started to shape up my future by deciding to apply my hard work ethic I acquired from my parents to become successful in life.
As a young kid, I always had a passion for baseball. With my strong work ethic, I have been able to accomplish many achievements such as best offensive player in my varsity baseball high school team while also receiving first team all-league honors. However, due to constant arm injuries, I had to stop playing baseball to continue on with my education. Still, day in and day out, I worked hard in high school on my baseball skills but also more importantly, on my education. I managed to graduate in the top five of my class in high school and given the privilege to say the pledge of allegiance in our graduation ceremony. I've continued on with my hard work ethic in college as I have successfully completed many of my prerequisite classes. While majoring in Civil Engineering, I have been able to have the opportunity to eventually transfer from a community college in two years being a major which usually takes three years plus for others.
Growing up, I've watched my parents' struggle supporting my sisters and me, so, I've decided to contribute my strong sense of responsibility and hard work ethic to succeed in earning a college education as the key in building my long-term success and constructing financial stability for my future as well as my parents' long term needs. Currently, I'm attending Oxnard College completing my transfer prerequisites majoring in Civil Engineering. My short term goal includes transferring to University of California in fall 2016 to pursue my Bachelor's Degree in Civil Engineering. My long-term goal includes continuing my education by acquiring my Master's Degree in Structural or Water Resources Engineering to help others with constructing and maintaining infrastructure while also rebuilding and designing new structures. After watching my parents struggle without an education to build and support my sisters and me, I've decided to commit my hard work ethic to attend college while also leading the way for my parents and giving them a better life. Over the years, I've admired my dad's driven determination in helping people build structures as well as bringing water resources to them through efficient pipeline systems. Since then, he has influenced me to study my major of Civil Engineering to make a difference for others in communities while also supporting my family.
Thank you!
Working hard for your future- UC Personal Statement Prompt
Hello everyone, I would like some feedback on my personal statement. The prompt is as follows:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?
Since coming to the United States, I have been most proud of my my hard work ethic not only in athletics, but also, in my education that is very important to me and my family. When I was young, my parents took a risk to bring their children to the U.S. from Mexico, leaving everything they knew so we'd have the opportunity for a better life. Also, they helped support their families by dropping out of school and going to work with their parents raising animals and growing crops. So they spent their childhood laboring from sunup to sundown with a limited education. Once in California, my parents constructed new lives as they began adapting to a new culture with the help of relatives here in the U.S. Although my parents had limited options and educational opportunities, they've continued to model their positive qualities including a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility while building a future for their children. Today, my dad still works hard in construction, yet comes home extremely tired and aching while my mom works long grueling hours in a meat market so we could experience greater future opportunities in education.
With my dad being a construction worker, I have come accustomed to participating in home construction projects with him. However, in doing so, I have also realized the grueling and demanding work he does and learned the value of hard work and my father's sacrifice in earning a living to support our family. Eventually in my early teens, I realized I wanted to be successful in life in order to lead and provide for my parents later in life, so they no longer would have to struggle to survive. This reality check started to shape up my future by deciding to apply my hard work ethic I acquired from my parents to become successful in life.
As a young kid, I always had a passion for baseball. With my strong work ethic, I have been able to accomplish many achievements such as best offensive player in my varsity baseball high school team while also receiving first team all-league honors. However, due to constant arm injuries, I had to stop playing baseball to continue on with my education. Still, day in and day out, I worked hard in high school on my baseball skills but also more importantly, on my education. I managed to graduate in the top five of my class in high school and given the privilege to say the pledge of allegiance in our graduation ceremony. I've continued on with my hard work ethic in college as I have successfully completed many of my prerequisite classes. While majoring in Civil Engineering, I have been able to have the opportunity to eventually transfer from a community college in two years being a major which usually takes three years plus for others.
Growing up, I've watched my parents' struggle supporting my sisters and me, so, I've decided to contribute my strong sense of responsibility and hard work ethic to succeed in earning a college education as the key in building my long-term success and constructing financial stability for my future as well as my parents' long term needs. Currently, I'm attending Oxnard College completing my transfer prerequisites majoring in Civil Engineering. My short term goal includes transferring to University of California in fall 2016 to pursue my Bachelor's Degree in Civil Engineering. My long-term goal includes continuing my education by acquiring my Master's Degree in Structural or Water Resources Engineering to help others with constructing and maintaining infrastructure while also rebuilding and designing new structures. After watching my parents struggle without an education to build and support my sisters and me, I've decided to commit my hard work ethic to attend college while also leading the way for my parents and giving them a better life. Over the years, I've admired my dad's driven determination in helping people build structures as well as bringing water resources to them through efficient pipeline systems. Since then, he has influenced me to study my major of Civil Engineering to make a difference for others in communities while also supporting my family.
Thank you!
