Writing Feedback / Travelling is a sweet escape from stressful life - and the best is sharing joy with a loving family [5]

Hi Kimgrey,

Here are the corrections I would suggest:

Many workers allotted timeMany people allocate time for travelling just to unwind and ...
While some of them choose to travel alone, and some wantsothers like to have a companion. TheseThis essay will tackle both views.
At this present time, there are lotsa lot of people who loves love travelling to experience the worlds' world's amazing spots.

Most of them are j ournalist and w riters who usually travel to ...
... is peaceful and they can internalize thoughts better in their writing with ...
... there are people who used to travel with companions - a family, friends or a lover. They foundfind it safer and comfortable. For instances, if unexpected events happen ...

... However, I prefer to travel by group, either with my own f amily or with people who ...
... because in travelling you create m emories that last forever and i t makes you eager to travel more.

I also suggest to check out few essay samples - /essays/Travelling-In-Group-Or-Not-47467971, as they could help you better your writing.

Undergraduate / The Importance of Education - UT Prompt; Knowledge is profitable [4]

Dear Christopher,

I really liked the topic of your essay. It is very true that our education system has become all about grades and the students are missing the point that the actual motto of education is to learn and gain knowledge. However, you might want to change the intro of your essay as it sounds too heavy and might be little difficult to comprehend when a reader is reading for the first time. The key is to catch the attention of the reader with introductory lines that are not just fresh and interesting but to the point. You might want to check out this link /essays/Knowledge-From-Education-60997681.html to get an idea of how to come up with simple and interesting intro.

Undergraduate / "We all have great inner power" - Lifetime Goals Essay; Apply Texas Topic C [5]

Hi there!

You may want to re-look at the quote you've used. It doesn't seem relevant to the prompt. Why? Because your prompt wants you to talk about your current and future academic + non-academic goals, which will help in achieving your life's goals. Let me elaborate: If your life goal is to help people, then what have you done/are doing/will do in your life to help people and how do you plan to do it?

Also, if you have some career (teaching, nursing, social worker, etc.) on your mind, which involve helping people, it would make better sense in terms of establishing your life goals.

Here as some possible quotes you could consider:

1. The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well - Ralph Waldo Emerson

2. If you're in the luckiest one per cent of humanity, you owe it to the rest of humanity to think about the other 99 per cent. ― Warren Buffett

Hope this helps.

Undergraduate / Loving museums. I want to pursue a career in Museum Studies - Common App Personal Essay [9]

Hi there!

Looks like you have captured the background and interest aspects. Identity and talent are also a part of the prompt, and it'd be great if you can write a little about your strengths (for instance: patience to answer queries, people skills, etc.), and traits that are basic to pursue a career in Museology.

Also, mentioning how you overcame challenges (if any, during your course of volunteering), will help the reader better understand and assess your capability in handling real-life situations.

Hope this helps.