Writing Feedback / It is more important to reserve land for human beings than for endangered animal [5]

Hi, I am preparing for the IBT TOEFL test. Please read my writing and give me some advice. It will help me a lot. Thank you very much.

Do you want a bigger house? Of course, almost everyone wants. Then giving you a bigger house, but you have to care for a bear, do you still want it? Humans have occupied so much land for agriculture, factories and house building that thousands of animals lose their homes or parts of their homes. Please leave some space for the animals, if not, someday in the future, we will find the only animal on the land is humans.

We have done so many mistakes that many kinds of animal has disappeared for the earth. If we had thought more about other species, we hadn't lost lots of our neighbors. West Africa lion, white wolf, West Asia tiger, a huge number of animals are extinct. Also, there are still numerous animals being extinct. Could we just give them a bigger "house" for surviving. Though we have language, science, technology, culture, even we can change the world, human and other animals are equal in nature. We have destroyed their habitats. We have eaten their meat. We have worn their hide. Let us just leave a space for their home.

One day, when the spring comes, there is no birds, no ducks, no butterflies, even no mouse around us. Then we will have a silent spring. It is too late for us to regret what we have done. So, just do what we can do nowadays. Reserve the land for the endangered animals. I wish it is just a beginning of animal protecting. Only when we see the animals as important as we are, do we have hopes that our offspring will see the spring as we do.

Therefore, human beings have the abilities to change the world. To some extent, whether the animals in danger will survive or die depends on what we will do. To reserve land for animals is just the first step, and to help the animals coexist peacefully with humans is the final purpose.

Writing Feedback / Not only should we search for a high grade, but also a future of further education. [4]

Hi,

Please proofread & give me your ideas about this essay. It's very useful if you give me some tips to improve it.

Thanks & have a nice day,

Does grade really encourage students to learn and guarantee a qualified education? It is hard to answer this question, but we do find a lot of shortages of this system. For example, for quite a number of students, it is more important to get a high or top grade than to hold the spirits of knowledge. It is not that these students are not motivated. It is just that they are not motivated to learn as much as they are motivated to get good grades. It is a mistakes that the system does not lead students to true purpose of education. What is worse! Many students get used to remembering the answers in the books, but not to thinking themselves.

Anyone who cares the grade most always misses something important but not in the examination. In my university, lots of my classmates just see the parts of a book that will appearance in the test, and the remains will be new forever. Are the remains useless? Of course not. In most colleges, in order to let the major pass the exam, teachers usually do not put the hardest parts in the test, but these parts are usually the latest finding in this field. And if we missed these, it will be a trouble for our further education.

If we get used to this system, we may lose the interests in thinking ourselves. To some extent, high grade usually means good memory and has nothing to do with the abilities of understanding and thinking. For top grade, students boil their lives to remembering the endless answers of question and have no time to think deeply. They usually remember the answers to the questions but do not understand why. It is the reason why some many people can get a high grade but fix the problems.

In conclusion, grade does not encourage the students to learn in a correct way and many shortages do exist in this system. Not only should we search for a top grade, but also a future of further education.

Writing Feedback / Is it more important to spend more time working than being with family? [3]

Hi,

Please proofread & give me your ideas about this essay. It's very useful if you give me some tips to improve it.

Thanks & have a nice day,

Different person will have different answer to the question which is more important to be working or to be with the family. As for me, I choose the latter one. In China, especially for men, career is superior in his life, and family is usually inferior. In the old days, only men could get a job and support the family, while women just took care of the old and the young. Nowadays, both men and women have to get jobs to support the family, resulted in that home just a place to have a sleep.

Though it is more difficult to support a family now, it is the purpose of work that makes the family more like a family. To buy a bigger house, to own a new car and to raise the young, all of these make us spending more and more time in working. Even some people work 60 hours a week. And there is a new group of people named DINKs- double-incomes no kids. They pursue a kind of luxurious of life, such as top restaurants, pure pets, new racing cars and so on. If just thinking of what they will have 20 years later, they only have a house and a car out of time, not a family. They misunderstand of the meaning of a family. They build a family in physics, not in spirits.

A harmonious family always leads to an effective work. And a troublesome family always causes a disaster in work. Everyday if you always have to face a wife complaining all the time and a son being always in trouble, do you really want to work? I do not think so. I am afraid that you will have a headache from the morning to the night. When that occurs, even if you spend a whole day in your work, there is always nothing out. Though you spend really enough time in your work, I think you will be fired soon. So, family first, then you can finish perfect work.

It is more important to spend more time being with family than working. And it is our duty and purpose to hold a harmonious family. A harmonious family will help you work more effectively, then you will have enough time to take care of your family. What is more. Of course a wonderful life.