Writing Feedback / The Australian children's free time activities (IELTS) [6]

The given bar chart shows the percentage of the leisure time activities preferred by the Australian girls and boys aged five to 14. Overall, watching television and playing computer games have become the most preferable activities for them. In the other activities, the girls are more likely to engage in crafting, rather than to what boys do in biking and skateboarding.

It is clear that the kids' screen time become more time-consuming activities than other activities. Watching television has seized a hundred percent of their spare time. In fact, it has successfully reduced a computer gaming time by 20% (boys) and by 40% (girls).

Fortunately, children still commit with the other physical activities indirectly offering benefits for their health and creativity. The data proves that over the half percentage of the teenage girls (59%), they spend time on biking and doing crafts, while the other 39% of the boys' free time are used for both skateboarding and crafting. However, biking (78%) and skateboarding (39%) are the boys' most preferable sport activities. Nevertheless, 59% of the girls are interested in crafting, so they can enhance their art skills.

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Writing Feedback / The easiest way to convert salt water into drinking water (IELTS) [3]

The given diagram describes a relatively simple sea water desalination process to produce the fresh water by a device called floating solar still. Overall, the device is powered by the solar thermal energy which continuosly energizes the sea water to evaporate its pure water subtances.

Floating solar still is a user-friendly desalination device. lt can be simply made since producing a drinkable water with this method considers not requiring much complex equipment. The equipment needed for turning a salty water to a fresh water are a rubber tube, a dome-shaped plastic container, and a smaller container named a distilled water collector. Those three elements are designed to maintain a dome in a high temperature solar thermal energy and store the result of the sea water purification process, a pure drinking water.

The sea water desalination process is begun when a transparent dome-shaped plastic container allows the sun's rays to heat up the sea water flowing from a small hole under the device. During the process, because of the heat, the hydrogen scientifically reacts with the oxygen to form the pure water (H2O) and evaporate the water into the surface of dome-shaped plastic container, while other left subtances are stored on the sea.

To continue the process after the sea water has been distilled, the H2O drops naturally and stores itself automatically to a rubber tube which is linked to a drinking water collector. Finally, fresh water, as a product of desalination process, is ready to drink. Converting the salty water into the fresh drinking water relatively takes a very long time. Nevertheless, this sea water desalination process will keep cycling as long as the sun' rays still warm the dome.

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Writing Feedback / The pleasant and unpleasant tourist's experiences to explore Fairmont lsland (lELTS) [2]

The pie charts show a survey result of the Fairmont lsland's tourists regarding on their most pleasant and unpleasant experiences for visiting the lsland which are measured in percentage. Overall, the friendly locals, the beauty, the culture, and good accomodation services in the Fairmont lsland areas have left some tourists to a good memory in travelling to the lsland, while they have to pay much more money to live there with finding less on the entertainment, feeling unpleasant weather, and tasting poor quality of food.

lt can obviously be seen that 45% of the tourists are more likely to travel the lsland with a low living cost, rather than to build the closeness with the inhabitants in the lsland which is only wanted to 40% of visitors. However, less on the entertainment to 30% of travelers, it could never beat up the value of the spectacular scenery of the lsland which has grabbed 37% of tourists' attention.

Other facts from the data are 20% of travelers feel that the weather of Fairmont lsland is not friendly and 5% of the visitors experience poor quality in food. Nevertheless, there are enjoyable moments for 12% of the travelers to acknowledge varied cultures of the Fairmont lsland and comfortable places for the 11% of travelers to stay during their trip in the lsland.

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