Undergraduate / Fear is a problem I never stop trying to solve but never ever solved completely [4]

MICHAEL MIAO
4. Describe a problem you've solved or a problem you'd like to solve. It can be an intellectual challenge, a research query, an ethical dilemma-anything that is of personal importance, no matter the scale. Explain its significance to you and what steps you took or could be taken to identify a solution.

COULD YOU PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON ANY PART YOU THINK THAT NEEDS TO BE IMPROVE OR CHNAGE。
:) thank you!

Until now, the three-week summer school is blurred in my memory, but the five-minute dreadful experience on the return flight is more than imprinted in my heart, as if it had happened only yesterday.

Our airplane encountered a violent storm. Besides thunder, I heard nothing but the pounding of my heart. Helplessness and panic flooded over me as to make all my senses lost. When the turbulence ceased, I reluctantly opened my eyes. A flight attendant walked towards me, wearing a calm smile.

"Are you okay?" she asked.
"Oh, maybe I'm okay," I replied, trembling.

For the first time, I experienced true fear. I could not help pondering how the violent turbulence elicited such different reactions from the stewardess and me. Was she really not afraid? I felt a strong obligation to discover an answer.

Thinking back, I was not the only one frightened at that moment-that was an average feeling for most passengers-but I clearly remembered a little boy who soon recovered from the panic and ate snacks beside me. The strong contrast between us drove me to envy the boy's innocence and carefreeness, and I was determined to further study fear.

Inquisitive about the origin of my fear, I established the Flight Club in my school with several friends who took the same interest as I did. By not only reading books but also visiting professional websites like SkyVector, we gained a large amount of knowledge about aircrafts and flights. We downloaded simulated games of aviation, trained ourselves to pilot planes and exchanged our experience and skills. Afterwards on any flights with my club members, we even debated with each other about climbing angles of the airplane. I came to realize my panic was from the unknown and uncertainty of some principles: because I had insufficient knowledge, I could sense danger but could not make correct judgments, and that caused my panic. Once I was able to discover the deep reason behind the horrible phenomenon that turned a flight into a nightmare, I could release myself from panic. The Lack of knowledge and experience-these could be sources of fear.

Nevertheless, given that we have enough knowledge and experience, could we avoid all forms of fear? Of course not.

As a member of school choir, I often felt afraid to participate in concerts even though I had already mastered the songs. Did my voice sound weird? How did others think of me? I never stopped doubting. It seemed that there existed a strict supervisor warning me to care, and when I could not sing perfectly, that supervisor would blame me and frighten me.

Later, the music teacher, Ms. Korkosz, identified my problem. She encouraged me to attend various concerts she organized, and she told me, "Just be yourself. Don't care too much about others' opinions." And she was right. By performing in joyful concerts, I learned to relax and gradually discovered that my fear sometimes originated from specific traits: prudence and eagerness for perfection, which created stress, but, at the same time, urged me to be better.

It is not my ultimate conclusion that knowledge and practice are omnipotent solutions to panic since some kinds of panic are inherent. Someone innately fears a pet dog. Someone considers the ocean frightening since birth. However, as a door is closed, why not open a window? Why not think of fear from an alternative perspective? I am a cautious person who is destined to be fear's intimate partner. I do not consider fear an insurmountable challenge nor a signal tantamount to cowardice, but I regard it as a companion helping me avoid bad consequences resulting from recklessness. Although I cannot overcome fear all time, I feel it positively, despise it, and embrace it.

I now can face all fears, actively and bravely. Fear leads me to set foot on a journey of self-discovery and a new beginning.