Undergraduate /
Helping hand in translating - Common App essay. Does this all work together? [9]
I was 12 when my parents told me about moving to US. I didn't want to leave my little world behind.I asked my parents to reconsider but of course they were pensive about our future. They knew life a lot better than a 12 year old diva.
I hopped on the plane for the first time in my life. I felt uncomfortable, anxious, and nervous. I wasn't ready to move to a different world. When I arrived, I suffered from culture shock. I was soon forced out of my childhood because my parents didn't speak English and I barely spoke English. When I started school, my amazing teachers and fellow students made me feel accepted. My teachers helped me to enhance my English. I worked really hard on my English at home. Soon I was told that I didn't need to take any ESL classes because I placed really high on my English test. I was really overjoyed. One of my inspirations, Kartar Singh Sarabha, who attended Berkeley in 1912. He encountered a lot racism because India was under British rule at the time. He dreamed of freeing India because he believed in peace and justice, and wanted Indians to be accepted at other nations. He moved back to India and fought for India's rights. He was hanged after revolting against British government. My teachers and Kartar's dedication for their community inspired me to help others in need.
Unfortunately, I encountered my worst fear of losing my loved ones. I lost 8 of my loved ones in 2015. All of these deaths were unforeseen and left me emotionally damaged. I felt adrift, numb, and sad. I sensed my stomach drop and anticipated nothing was wrong but later perceived that this was the new normal. This phase of my life has taught me so much. I had difficulty handling so many deaths. I started dealing with anxiety and depression. This really affected my school as my grades dropped. My teachers and my peers helped me perceive that I have to be stronger. They assisted me as I got back on track. I realized that I really want to help others.
A new student from India started school, and she didn't speak any English. I was asked if I wanted to help, and I took that opportunity with a smile. I showed the girl around our school, introduced her to teachers, and helped her in translating. I stayed after school to teach her English because I was in her spot just a few months ago. I helped her with everything, and soon she passed her English test and didn't have to take any ESL classes. I was so happy for her accomplishment. I realized that I loved helping others so I started volunteering at our local library where English classes are held for adults. I translated for the Punjabi and Hindi students. I was offered the position of an assistant teacher. I got to help many individuals grow, and do great things in life.
This was such a great experience for me. My family went through the hardship of not knowing English. Thanks to my amazing community for helping and encouraging me. Without their help, I wouldn't be who I am today. I can't thank Kartar Singh Sarabha enough for fighting for India's independence and helping Indians feel welcomed at foreign countries.Though I still deal with anxiety attacks, I won against my depression. I am a lot stronger now than I was before. My grades have improved and I plan on earning all A's at university. I want admissions officers to know this tidbit about me because this experience has really changed my positively. I have come to realize that helping others genuinely makes me happy. I plan on contributing my knowledge to fight against inequality in the world to benefit others.
Here's the improved version. What do you think?