Wandelstein
Dec 31, 2015
Undergraduate / Beatbox Music Making-Common App Main Essay (Background/identity/interest) [4]
@shealeear8
Wow, thank you so much for the feedback! It was actually one of the most helpful edits I've received. I read your essay and it is seriously exemplar, really the only possible changes would be stylistic or personal preference things.
If you don't mind, I just have a few questions I hope you could help answer.
When you said "Your chosen essay topic is one that is used a lot and I would have advised against this style", can you clarify what exactly you mean?
Are you talking about the topic as in the cliche "music is life" or the prompt that I chose and the chronologically storytelling style instead of focusing more on a moment? I know my essay is MUCH more of an "easy-read" than yours, do you think my writing style should be changed up? Before writing my essay I thought one of those substantive philosophical style essays might not keep the adcom's attention as well as a more straightforward one...
I'm thinking cutting out some parts and maybe elaborate more on one particular moment, especially since this essay was initially a lot longer but was cut down for the word limit.
I guess I had thought my essay was pretty good because of the "unique(?)" factor I have with beatboxing, but the more I edit it seems like the way the whole thing is written out is not great at all...
Thank you so much for everything, congrats on your early acceptances and good luck if you are applying regular anywhere!
@shealeear8
Wow, thank you so much for the feedback! It was actually one of the most helpful edits I've received. I read your essay and it is seriously exemplar, really the only possible changes would be stylistic or personal preference things.
If you don't mind, I just have a few questions I hope you could help answer.
When you said "Your chosen essay topic is one that is used a lot and I would have advised against this style", can you clarify what exactly you mean?
Are you talking about the topic as in the cliche "music is life" or the prompt that I chose and the chronologically storytelling style instead of focusing more on a moment? I know my essay is MUCH more of an "easy-read" than yours, do you think my writing style should be changed up? Before writing my essay I thought one of those substantive philosophical style essays might not keep the adcom's attention as well as a more straightforward one...
I'm thinking cutting out some parts and maybe elaborate more on one particular moment, especially since this essay was initially a lot longer but was cut down for the word limit.
I guess I had thought my essay was pretty good because of the "unique(?)" factor I have with beatboxing, but the more I edit it seems like the way the whole thing is written out is not great at all...
Thank you so much for everything, congrats on your early acceptances and good luck if you are applying regular anywhere!