Undergraduate / George Washington University Supplement: Who helped you in difficult times? [2]

So I was going back and forth between these two responses because I wasn't sure if they accurately answered the question. All and any feedback is welcome-- thanks in advance!

Historians write that Martha Washington was George Washington's sounding board and closest confidant. Reflect on a significant challenge you have encountered during your high school career. Tell us about the person (mentor, family member, friend, coach, teacher, etc.) who provides support, advice, and wisdom to you in times of difficulty.

Here's the first response:
After my sophomore year at my new high school, I decided to get involved in school to socialize. I used to write for my previous high school's newspaper, so I decided to do the same at this school. To this day, I can say it was the best decision I've ever made.

At my previous high school's newspaper, our teacher didn't care about the format of the story but rather the quality of it. However, the copy process was completely different at this school. Students followed the proper newspaper format and were responsible for the composition of the print and online newspaper.

I struggled with this new concept, but I was quick to make friends with my current adviser: Mrs. Lampa. Yet Mrs. Lampa was unlike any other teacher I've met; she immersed herself in all aspects of the newspaper process and used that very method on students like myself.

She helped me with anything from my silly and serious articles to my Great Gatsby essay to my personal problems. She comforted me in times of difficulty and rejoiced when I wrote five articles in a month or when I was named Student of the Month. She pushed me to reach my full potential inside and outside of school. She not only made me a better writer but a better person.

As of now, I am emulating her examples as Editor-in-Chief. I hope to become an inspirational figure to someone else just like Mrs. Lampa was to me.

Then there's this response:
I've faced an array of difficulties throughout my high school career ranging from academics to physical activities to the unhinged emotions that come with being a teenager. However, the greatest challenge I faced was transferring.

After freshman year, I was the president of three clubs, achieved straight A's, and was in all honors classes-- yet that would only last for a couple of months.

As money tightened, my family rented a home in a community with great schools in mid-October. I was no longer the admired over-achieving student, but rather the awkward Latina in a classroom full of white teens with established friend groups.

I took all regular classes except for English. This was where I met the teacher who influenced the rest of my high school career: Mrs. Drumm. She was the kind of teacher who would do anything in her willpower to ensure your success.

Before, I had no formal way of writing an essay except for the basics. Afterwards, Mrs. Drumm taught me the importance of writing with a purpose which further developed my desire for writing. I was also introduced to my new passion-- newspaper -- thanks to Mrs. Drumm's recommendation.

To this day, I appreciate her for allowing me to aspire to greater heights and for opening new doors leading to new passions. Mrs. Drumm illuminated a path full of endless possibilities and made transitioning a bit easier. Currently, I'm following Mrs. Drumm's examples by tutoring ESL students who are in similar situations like myself.