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Posts by imt
Joined: Aug 1, 2009
Last Post: Aug 9, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

From: Indonesia

Displayed posts: 4
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imt   
Aug 9, 2009
Poetry / The Limerant, caught, so voluntarily; Like melody drawn nightingale [3]

Devotion is the core of love; I think you should emphasis it more in this poetry.
Ambiguity arises from the judgment of pros and cons of an actions; devotions in other hand does not care about the cons, it only care about how to be there for the object of devotions (how to "serve" the object of devotion). Devotion removes all traces of egoism.

How you express your emotions to her, in my perspective is already good, but it still needs a resolution. (act of devotion will provide it for you)
imt   
Aug 9, 2009
Poetry / poem review [the wounded soul] [8]

revisions:
sink to sank
she silenced to silence remains

Point 1:
Uncontrolled words or actions can be as sharp as a sword piercing to one's flesh and heart. It produces the same pain, even perhaps more.

Point 2:
Tree is a source of life. It gives nourishment, protection, up to simple shades from the sun. But it never claims for anything in return to those who ask its help or service. From this point of view tree is more feminine than masculine in nature.

Point 3:
Generally speaking, emotional intelligence of female is higher than male. It is easier for a woman to realize that she has hurt somebody's feeling by her word or action. A man in other hand usually finds it more difficult to understand or express his own emotions, more again other's. So it is more common for a man to unwillingly hurt other people's feeling than a woman.

Point 4:
The reaction of a man and woman when being emotionally hurt is different. A man would charge openly. But a woman would not. She will hide her pain; even sometimes try to protect her assailant from public judgment. This often takes place in domestic abuses. A drunken man beating his wife unwillingly would simply forget his action after he sobers up. But her fear and pain will always lingers.

Point 5:
What makes a cryptic poetry interesting is the fact that everyone can read it and has different interpretation of it. But most of these interpretations are right in their own respect. There is a universality in cryptic poetry. Through that universality it can touch more people in different kind of situation. A cryptic poetry is a like a tree. All its branches are most the different interpretations; but all of them lead back to the root. Direct clarity is the bigger picture here; however for individual observers the indirect ones are just as important.
imt   
Aug 5, 2009
Poetry / poem review [the wounded soul] [8]

Thanks Simone for your review.
I think terseness is part of the beauty of poetry. Personally I prefer poetries that require deciphering rather than simple open book ones. Beside compares to classical form such as haiku; I think mine is still much easier to understand.

During a blind rage we often accidently hurt other people's heart or feeling with our words or attitudes. We may not aware of this, but for them although they never actually express their pain to us; sometimes the pain still linger long after our rage had been subsided. So, be careful with what you say or do. Blind rage is not good especially if it end up hurting our own love ones. This is what I am trying to say in this poetry.
imt   
Aug 1, 2009
Poetry / poem review [the wounded soul] [8]

The Wounded Soul

A man in sea of wrath
Unsheathed sword, sink in a passing tree
Hurt and scarred, she silenced
...
Sea calms ... sun shines
Sword sheathed, she asks him
Why do you still hurt me?
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