Graduate / Trying to find the right tone for MPA essay on disability. [4]

Preliminary comments: This essay is about 100 words too long, so I would like help cutting some parts out. Also, although not explicitly mentioned in the prompt, I am trying to use my statement to address a weakness in my transcripts (due to the injury stuff). This means that I can't cut *too* much of the disability stuff, which is the obvious candidate. Anyway, I also would generally like to know how well the essay works. Thanks.

Please consider the following prompt: Describe your most important accomplishments and how they prepared you for graduate study at (insertschoolhere). Outline carefully your current goals and professional plans. Explain your reason for selecting (insertschoolhere).

I was 21 when I ruptured my patellar tendon. Your patellar tendon is the thin cord that connects your patella, or kneecap, to your tibia. A rupture is, medically speaking, a complete breach. A patellar tendon rupture is generally a repeated-use injury seen in basketball players who hit one too many jump shots, and one day their tendon can't take the stress anymore. But I didn't play basketball; I had a disease called Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome, or EDS.

I just tripped and fell. Anyone else on the planet would have been fine, but the primary symptom of EDS is weakened connective tissue. I hit my knee on sidewalk at low speed, but I was cut like a knife through butter. I was so injured that hospital staff alerted the police. They actually thought someone had tried to kill me. About five weeks later, I tripped over my crutches and ruptured the other patellar tendon. That began a nearly 10 year journey that featured 6 reconstructive knee surgeries, some highly experimental, and hundreds of hours of physical therapy. Today, I have one good knee.

Before the injury, my attention to academics was lax. I had gone through high school with a steadily winnowing attention span, able to pass tests without the inconvenience of keeping up with coursework. After the injury, I was more alert-I had to be. It was difficult for me to merely get to class, as two immobilizers made it incredibly difficult to walk. I could get by in warmer semesters, but winters were terrifying, even with handicapped accommodations. Every time I went outside my door, I wondered: what will happen to me the next time I fall?

I wasn't making progress, physically-speaking, and I was regressing academically. I took time off, moved back home, and had another surgery that improved my condition. I was able to enroll at the University of Michigan's Flint campus, and after some initial struggles, succeed. I had rehabilitated myself, both physically and academically. I graduated with a drastically improved GPA, and I won an award for my achievements both inside and outside of the classroom.

My experiences taught me a lot about disability, for I am still disabled now. I experienced the kinds of issues that disabled people face. I dealt with barriers, lack of elevators and ramps, lack of reasonable accommodation, and even discrimination at the administrative level. These experiences have given me insight into the kinds of problems that the disabled face, and the kinds of remedies that will best address their concerns. This insight is what drives me to pursue public policy at higher levels, so that I can address the kinds of problems that the disabled face in all corners of life. We are disproportionately poor, underemployed, lacking for proper healthcare and housing, and desperately underserved by the public sector.

I believe that my combination of academic success and the determination I've found through my struggles will allow me to succeed at insertschoolhere. My circumstances have taught me that you only get a few chances in life, and you have to make the most of them. I have applied this at the University of Michigan, and I will show the same work ethic at the graduate level.

This is important because insertschoolhere can help me reach my goal. The "Social Policy" specialization would help me address the core issues that the disabled suffer, such as poverty and lack of health care. I would be able to take my degree out into the real world and apply it by working at public sector and non-profit sector organizations that truly care about improving conditions for the disabled. I would be able to make an impact not just because I have a graduate degree from an excellent school, but also because I have something schools can't teach: a first person understanding of what the disabled need.

Graduate / Personal Statement for MPA programs. It's meant to be 500 words, and convey a couple of things. [2]

It's meant to be 500 words, and convey a couple of things: (1) why I'm switching from philosophy to public administration, (2) why this particular program is right for me, (3) what my goals are going forward, (4) to provide a hint that the committee ought to look for a medical addendum that explains my medical problems. I'm hoping it conveys those things without being too bad, overall. Please, let me know what you think.

Although there are many vexing questions in philosophy, one of the core ones is of the nature of morality; "what is right to do?" I always thought that being a philosopher would involve tailing that question down to the bitter end. The fruit of that labor would be some sliver of knowledge about what humans should do. That was the value of philosophy: bringing that knowledge back to the rest of the world. Through your hard work, humanity would know something that they had not known before.

With time, I found this description to be misleading. While there are still moral truths to be found, there are fewer novel ones to bring back home. Sure, there are novel and contentious issues to be mined, such as genetic enhancement, but the vast majority are issues that most people agree on: that people should not starve, that murder ought not be permissible, etc. The misleading thing is that it is not a problem of knowledge; it is a problem of action. Despite overwhelming consensus, humanity struggles with turning the right idea into right action. I now realize that the most pressing problem of morality is not the former, but instead the latter. Having the right ideas will do us no good if we do not know the right ways to implement them. In this sense, public service work is a logical extension of philosophy-a sort of practical philosophy.

I chose this program because I think it will allow me to grow into the best sort of practical philosopher possible. Philosophy is a liberal arts discipline, and the quantitative rigor this program demands will help me grow as a thinker. But the qualitative skills I have sharpened along the way will also help me stand out as a multidimensional contributor, and help me craft better solutions to our problems.

This program is also a good fit because it allows me to focus on the area I care about the most. While I worry about the environment, human rights, etc. just as much as anyone else, the issue nearest my heart is disability policy. Although there is not explicitly a "disability policy" concentration, the MPP program would allow me to create my own. From looking at courses and the other concentrations, I believe I could put together such a concentration, for the suffering of the disabled has much in common with other forms of marginalization.

In pursuing the practical end of disability issues, I would work to champion sane policy and improve the organizations that implement it. My natural inclination is to address the issues relevant to my disease, Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. But, as I said, these people suffer in familiar ways. In helping my fellow sufferers, I could help not just the disabled, but other marginalized groups as well. In my eyes, that would be the best possible version of philosophy. I would take my knowledge of what is right, and I would use it to do the right thing.