Posts by minty0801

minty0801

Jan 22, 2016

Student Talk / Hi everyone! Welcome at EssayForum thread. [413]

:） Hello, everyone! Greetings from a chinese girl ><

Nice to meet you guys.
I am happy to join EssayForum.

It is really hard to me to write a good personal statement for my application of graduate school.
I always confused about whether I have write something to the point, whether I have made some grammatical mistakes, or whether my essay is logically well developped.

Hope to meet some new friends here.
Share intersting things happened in our life :D

minty0801

Jan 22, 2016

Writing Feedback / In order to work in a productive atmosphere, co-workers must have some specific characteristics. [4]

who can be trusted and ~~can count on them.~~counted on

i think it it better to explain your points with more specific examples. and when you finishe illustrating your example, maybe you could clarify the relationship between your example and your point.

minty0801

Jan 22, 2016

Writing Feedback / The replacement of traditional foods with junk eating from other countries brings a negative impact [5]

It is argued that fast foods from other countries replaced traditional foods may bring a negative impact ...

There are a variety of reasons why international fast foods has bad effects on families. The main shortcoming is that some kinds of fast foods are not good for ...

If an excess of junk foods which contain excessive amounts ...
In addition, having junk foods instead of traditional foods for meals frequently, people will not spend time ~~to cook~~on cooking at home together.

... when people choose to consume junk foods rather than common foods . Firstly, traditional foods reflects traditional culture of each nation, hence itthe traditional culture will be forgotten when ...

minty0801

Jan 22, 2016

Graduate / Be acquainted with you in ways different from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data [3]

3. This personal essay helps us become acquainted with you in ways different from courses, grades, test scores, and other objective data. It will demonstrate your ability to organize your thoughts and express yourself. Given your personal background, evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken; or discuss an issue of personal, local or international concern and its importance to you; or describe a person who has had a significant influence on you, and describe that impact. We are looking for an essay that will help us know you better as a person and as a student.

Late at night, I was aroused from my sleep by the doorbell. I vividly remembered the first glance of my father when I opened the door. It was the most depressed and exhausted face that I had ever seen before. "I lost my job." As soon as he spoke, I realized that my family would suffer from a financial hardship. It was the first time that I felt a sense of responsibility to help my parents reduce their burden and relieve their pressure. I seemed to mature overnight. Never did I make complaints that the dinner is not fit to my taste any more. Never did I get impatient when helping my sister with her homework any more. I began to keep records of my daily expense to save money. I served as a home tutor in holiday to help make ends meet. There is not a single moment of hardship that cannot be transformed into one of personal strength. Hard as it was, the time of the hardship is of great value to shape me into a caring, independent and flexible person.

Another thing the hardship brought to me is the reflection on life. Life is full of unknown and challenge. It is impossible for us to predict when the trouble will knock on our door. However, as long as we move out of the comfort zone and keep making progress, we are able to deal with unexpected problems whenever it comes to us. My father regretted that he didn't force himself to enrich knowledge involving automation equipment and computer controlling system. If he has pu efforts on mastering the new technology occurred in mechanical field, he would not fail to find another good job. Since then, I made up my mind to spare no efforts to learn new things and grasp every chance to challenge my myself. When I was a senior three student in high school, I devoted myself to study my weak subjects. When later entering Nanjing University, I challenged myself to learn Korean, which opened a new world for me. In 2014, I became a volunteer in Nanjing Youth Olympic Games. It was a great challenge as well as a huge opportunity. Making friends with people from Trinidad and Tobago enhanced my communication skills. Dealing with daily issues of the committee improved my organizational abilities. Conversations with diligent players let me know that no one could achieve fame without enough hard work.

It has been several years since my father find a new job. However, the impact the experience gave to me never shades with time.