Writing Feedback / The replacement of traditional foods with junk eating from other countries brings a negative impact [5]

ielts task 2. Really looking for some one can correct essay for me. let's improve English together

Topic: In many countries traditional foods are being replaced by international fast foods.This is a negative effect on both families and societies. To what extent do youagree or disagree?

It is argued that fast foods from other countries replaced traditional foods may bring a negative impact on not only families but also the community as a whole. In my opinion, I completely agree with this idea.

There are a variety reasons why international fast foods has bad effects on families. The main shortcoming is that some kind of fast foods are not good for people's health, especially for children. If an excess of junk foods which contain excessive amounts of fats and sugar are consumed, there will be a rise in the number of obese young people. In addition, having junk foods instead of traditional foods for meals frequently, people will not spend time to cook at home together. As a consequence, family members do not have much time for sharing and communicating with each other, gradually the generation gap is more likely to extend.

Apart from the practical drawbacks expressed above, I believe that the society will be influenced when people choose to consume junk foods rather than common foods. Firstly, traditional foods reflect traditional culture of each nation, hence it will be forgotten when people would like to eat fast foods instead of cooking at home. From time to time, the young generation will be unfamiliar with the traditional food recipes and the cuisine of the country will not be treasured anymore. Secondly, this may also effect to the country's economic development. The increasing number of international fast food chains in a country could lead to the deterioration of local business, which causes some inhabitants face to unemployed problems.

In conclusion, it seems to me that eating junk foods supplanting traditional foods for a long time may be harmful for both families and the society at large.