Writing Feedback / By 2004, People preferred to buy more chicken than other meats. Fish and meat consumed - IELTS [4]

oh I see, thank you so much for the explanation. Now I know between the introduction and overview must be combined into one paragraph. Sorry for the misunderstanding because I usually separate it and am taught by IELTS tutor to do so. I don't know if the pattern I use is only for practice in order to make us recognize which one of the introduction and overview easily.

Scholarship / "Education is not preparation for life. Education is life itself" KGSP Self-Introduction [2]

Hi, Monita I've checked and corrected some mistakes in your essay. as far as I see, your essay is very good, there are only some grammatical errors I found. For the content, I suggest you to put and relate more reasons about the relationship between your education background and your subject you want to study there in order to strengthen your essay. I hope my correction and suggestion would be very helpful for you. Cheers :)

Salam Pemuda Indonesia

I had been living together with my parents before I entering college. remove the I

and now I live just together with my younger sister. remove just. I only live

Most of my family members is an educator . are educators

Live in an educational environment makes me consider education as an important thing in my life and motivates me to get higher education. Living

I want to working in the field that related to education, become a teacher and sharing my knowledge onto the future generation or work in the ministry of education to contribute in improving the quality of education in Indonesia. to work, share, in order to contribute

To pursuing my big dream, it's requires a big effort. To pursue

I enjoy to learn new things so I learn English and Korean language by myself through books. Enjoy learning

I had an opportunity to teaching computer in vocational school for 4 months. to teach

I am interested to continue a master degree in Educational Administration. in continuing

I was determined not to burden my parent so I looking for a scholarship.I look

Koreans are very proud of their country and has a high sense of nationalism. have

It is makes me curious about Korean education system, what they have learned at school and how they maintain itstheir culture

Writing Feedback / By 2004, People preferred to buy more chicken than other meats. Fish and meat consumed - IELTS [4]

The lines graphs illustrates the needs NUMBER of fish and different kinds of meat consumed by people in a particular European country over A period OF 25 years.

- Thank you for correcting my writing. But, as far as I know this part is called introduction not summary overview. What do you mean by saying 3-5 keyword sentences? I think is already compelete because I just paraphrased the title of the graph.