Posts by sword

sword_maruf

Feb 15, 2016

Writing Feedback / If you get a chance to change something in my society which one you prefer ? [4]

I feel this because developed transportation will lessen the suffering of city dwe ller and improved lifestyle which i will explore in the following essay.[quote]To the beginning, for comfort, i will give priority to modernize the vehicle communication systems.Due to the poor transportation system, city dweller's suffer is the beggar description.

Thirdly, improved highway will diversify the economic and will inspire more local and foreign companies to set up factories, different business. Ultimate result of the good investment in different sectors will carry more revenue of our country. As an example, our country exports garments to the aboard. The location of my city is beside river so it is more possibility to set up mills and factories . The increasing number of business will bring more remittance and give more facilities to general people. People will find more jobs in our locality too.

To the sum up, transportation system is important for every cities and towns. I believe that if i change the road construction it will contribute to bring more income, comfort and developed lifestyle.

sword_maruf

Feb 13, 2016

Writing Feedback / "The Real World" - Essay - agree or disagree whether parents are the best teachers or not [4]

The first teacher we have in our lives in most cases are (is) our parents.

parents (are) still give their best advice,

In an introduction, it is necessary to point out shortly about your whole essay. start with general idea or hook sentence .. then you should say which idea you support

sword_maruf

Feb 13, 2016

Writing Feedback / Essay about young adults wanting independence and living alone or with their parents [3]

Independence could be something just in your thoughts, or in you opinion, your views, or the way you are living or with whom you are living.

No need to give this information about independence.

. I have a mixed opinion on this. In order to support my answer please read below.

mixed opinion ? please read below ?

Adolescence is a stage where a person wants to take their own decisions.

You should start with connectors or transitional words like; first of .....Then write down a supportive reason .....then start with...

In my view, if a young adult is mature enough to take his decisions and can take care of himself then its good to live alone.

In the body, you have to give your personal opinion.........

sword_maruf

Feb 13, 2016

Writing Feedback / TOEFL TSK: The extended family (grandparents, cousins, aunts and uncles) is still important nowadays [6]

At first, i am not a teacher. i am toefl studying student. According to my view, ......
Due to the great assistance of the Internet and social media, the extended family ( family members) can communicate with each other online, in the meanwhile, they are less likely to chat face-to-face, which does have an adverse effect on people's feelings and love. {...... This sentence isn't logically connected with the idea}...Although some individuals { someone or some people } argue that the extended family is less significant than it was in the past, I believe that the extended family is still crucial for us.

First of all, it has been a tradition to live in a huge clan with a colossal group of members since thousands years ago. [[ before this sentence you should shortly express the reason why you agree with this idea}}] .... sentence structure and vocab is quite well.

Second and third reason are appropriate ....
To conclude, I state that the extended family is still critical for us {although some people do not want to waste time with their family members face-to-face}. [ this clause is inappropriate for that position ..... here you should restate the important/ reasons for supporting the idea ( you have stated in 3 line)] finally, you have to point out opinion.

sword_maruf

Feb 12, 2016

Writing Feedback / If you get a chance to change something in my society which one you prefer ? [4]

Everything in the world isn't stable and people know how much value transportation is in this changeable world. In my view, if i get the chance to change something in my city, third world country, i will turn our transportation system into modern one. I feel this because developed transportation will be lessened the suffering of city dweller and improved lifestyle which i will explore in the following essay.

To the beginning, due to the poor transportation system, city dweller's suffer is the beggar description. To bring comfort, i will give priority to modernize the communication systems. People in our city employees in the different parts of the country, they face difficulties when come back. Moreover, If someone needed to hospitalize, being bad road condition makes patients worse. Often it increases accident rate and also causes hamper in vehicles.As a result, few number of traffics runs through the road. In that condition, habitants who have no options transfer to other cities. So it feels me more that to improve the path construction.

Secondly, developed lifestyle is another factor why the highway construction should improve. Nowadays, People in the developed countries thinks to use super fast train, airplane etc. But those are imagination to the people lives in my city. The economy of our city is fully agricultural based economy and it is getting broken. The crop which produces in the field get spoiled due to lack of proper transportations or farmers are deprived of proper remuneration. Better street will help farmers to grow more foods to earn proper money. Therefore, the broken economic will be alive.

Thirdly, improved high will be diversified the economic and will be inspired more local and foreign companies to set up factories, different business. Ultimately, good investment in different sectors will carry more revenue of our country. As an example, our country exports garments to the aboard. As the location of my city, it is beside river so it is more possibility to set up mills and factories. The increasing number of business will bring more remittance and give more facilities to general people. People will find more jobs in our locality too.

To the sum up, transportation system is important for every cities and towns. I believe that if i change the road construction it will contribute to bring more income, comfort and developed lifestyle.