Writing Feedback / Scientific research and experiments are nessesary to deeply understand the inventions [3]

Hi Amirulmumin,
I read your essay and I think that you can improve that a little.
Some things that you could do are avoid repeating words in two consecutive phrases, but that is just a suggestion.
Apart from that here is my advice:

In our life, there are many discoveries by scientist who have been through many experimentsOur life is enriched by new discoveries made possibles by the results of the experiments done by scientists .

As the era goes fast, there are many scientist who have been researching for the development of human's life, scientist make an invention to support human life progressing by research.Many of the researches made have the purpose of supporting our every day life

Scientist not only find and develop an invention, but also they make some experiments that are based on scientific method.---->I think that you should enrich this phrase with some research, like what is the scientific method. An maybe avoid concepts already mentioned in the previous phrases

At some point you say that some inventions are all around the world, but before you say that those are just in developed country. To me that is a contradiction, maybe you should review that part and try to differentiate the discoveries you have listed.

such as invention in the technological fieldin the technological field we can find inventions like hand phone water resistantwaterproof smartphones/cellphones , electrical cars, etc . I n the agricultural field likethere are melon...

to try to find new invention by themselves, but they do not have many materials that make them not able to do it.here you use a double negative, that means that they have many materials that give them the possibility of inventions

The conclusion is, - I personally excited with the new invention that is found by scientist, I want to know and understand how to find a new invention,I am personally exited about the idea of new inventions found by scientists and I would like to know and understand how to do it by my self

As the smart citizens

Hope it helps. And maybe you should explain more why you don't think it will go too far because, maybe it is just me, but I think that it is not well implemented in your essay.

Best of luck!

Undergraduate / Physics, engineering and women. Describe your career goals and the level of their implementation [4]

Hi sarakhalaf,
Could you give more details about how you should write your essay?
I think that you wrote a good start point but if it is just your essay maybe is a bit meagre.

However I would change something:

--I have heard many comments on how technology , physics and engineering are impossible for women to major in and admire
I would write this a little different, like saying thatSome people think/say that...instead of saying that you have heard that

For the rest it is a bit hard to help because, as I said, it is really brief.

Maybe you could say why it is hard for a woman to be an engineer , why you want to became one and why there is no need to believe that a man should be better than a woman. You can even use historical figures, there are many examples. Some of them even used male pseudonyms to be accepted.

And you could write more about your experiences and goals.

Hope it helps.

Scholarship / What does being Hispanic mean to you? Scholarship essays geared for Hispanic students. [3]

HI JuanSebastianR,
I really enjoyed reading your essay, it is well written and I like the message it has. I think that, for the few words required, you were able to answer the question.

If I have to be picky I would just say that maybe you could include more life experiences, but as I say I liked it.

And maybe you could take in considerations those minor things:

-- It isThis is the reason orThat is why I choose to never forget my roots
-- because I too came from veryhad or started with nothing
-- There,W e lived in a town where economical ...
-- To others it defines my cultural background, but it doesn't definenot who I am on the inside

Good luck!