Posts by LlamaGod

LlamaGod

May 21, 2016

Writing Feedback / Opinion Editorial - The Rise of a Phoenix [9]

Wow, those are all great points. Some of those grammatical errors I didn't even notice. I'm taking everything suggested into account and am currently revising my work right now. Thank you

LlamaGod

May 16, 2016

Writing Feedback / Opinion Editorial - The Rise of a Phoenix [9]

Rhetorical Analysis assistance of my Opinion-Editorial. Nitpicking is appreciated.

--As stated previously I would appreciate any Rhetorical Analysis' on my paper. I've already went through my own analysis and have annotated the paper but would appreciate anything you may suggest as it'd be great to get more styles of thought for review on it than just my own. Thank you.

Superman was never Clark Kent, Dean Cain, Christopher Reeves or any other portrayals. He doesn't even wear a cape. Meet Phoenix Jones. Every city needs someone willing to dress up in a costume and lead a city-based organization that consists of your everyday person with a willingness to stand up for what is right. "What an idiot"...

Courage is the choice ...

... trying to pop his nose back into place after losing a fight to far slower, extremely intoxicated old men, no shame in that right? ...

He doesn't need your help , because his mother will pay his own bail ...

"I pledge allegiance ...

LlamaGod

May 16, 2016

Book Reports / The Archetype of the scapegoat and persacution in Shirley Jackson's "The lottery," [3]

I'm just going to highlight some points I found which could be opposite of what you're going after, or the background behind the usage of "The lottery". Let me know if my suggestions are a hit or miss so I can adjust my review if necessary.

We are shown this same theme in Shirley Jackson's "The L ottery" through the character Mrs. Tessie Hutchinson who becomes the scapegoat.

In Shirley Jackson's "The L ottery", the character Mrs. Tessie ...

In the red highlights, "Lottery" needs to be capitalized since it's a title of her novel. As for the blue highlighted section, I feel the back-to-back reference of Shirley Jackson's "The Lottery" isn't necessary and the usage of "The Lottery" would be sufficient and not give off a slightly repetitive feel unless that was intended.

LlamaGod

Apr 24, 2016

Book Reports / Wrote a analytical essay of Amy Tans, "Two Kinds" but I lacking understanding of a introduction, etc [7]

-Hi, I appreciate your review on my Opinion Editorial and figured I'd give a brief edit/review of your first paragraph and you can decide if you like the adjusted version or not. It is an interesting read, there's just some minor tweaks to be made simply to make it a more smooth read. If English isn't your first language or you're new to writing that'd be helpful information for myself to better understand your method/style of writing.

Among those reasons the mother puts her wants and~~over the daughters. The mother puts~~ her will over what the daughters wants, therefore missing out on opportunities to encourage her daughter.

... the true focus of why she wants her ~~daughter~~ to be a prodigy is where she has not even asked her daughter what she would like to be when she grows up, she does not even ask ~~the daughter~~her what she might like to do for fun.

... the mother can be just like her friend who has a daughter whoin a similar fashion is a prodigy.

Another time the daughter is not there is when her mother is watching ...

The mother has to poke-Jei ming to pay attention to the movie on the TV .

LlamaGod

Apr 22, 2016

Writing Feedback / Opinion Editorial - The Rise of a Phoenix [9]

Rhetorical Analysis assistance of my Opinion-Editorial. Nitpicking is appreciated.

Hello, I've already written my own in-depth rhetorical analysis based on how I used language given my purpose, audience, and genre. I also annotated my opinion-editorial below but would value other brief analysis from others to gain insight from different train of thoughts aside from my own. Thank you for any input, my favorite portal on the internet for sure.

The Rise of a Phoenix

Superman was never Clark Kent, Dean Cain, Christopher Reeves or any other portrayals. He doesn't even wear a cape. Meet Phoenix Jones. Every city needs someone willing to dress up in a costume and lead a city-based organization that consists of your everyday person with a willingness to stand up for what is right. "What an idiot", "Are you serious?" Oh I'm dead serious, he's everything you aren't and wish you could be - he's the reason your children can go to bed safely at night - he is... the epitome of courage.

Courage is the choice and willingness to deal with torture, pain, danger, or fear - courage is Phoenix Jones. He has stopped muggings, altercations, and car thieves dead in their tracks. Sure he's gotten his nose broken, sure he's been stabbed, and you better believe he's been hospitalized on numerous occasions. I can't even count how many times I've seen Superman in the emergency room, trying to pop his nose back into place after losing a fight to far slower, extremely intoxicated old men, no shame in that right? Every superhero has been there, just as they don't, Jones doesn't need your help with his hospital bills or your pity just because he might have had his arm broken by an old woman after publicly pointing out she shouldn't steal "an over-priced crossword puzzle book" from your neighborhood grocery store. He doesn't need your help, because his mother will pay his own bail and like a phoenix rising from the ashes he will be in new form back out on the streets again fighting and getting hospitalized for what is right.

"I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States ...