Ray274
Aug 18, 2009
Undergraduate / "Soccer is my inspiration" - Common Application 150 word essay [5]
There was no moon over the soccer stadium, but it was after midnight, the risers still crowded, and our soccer team was playing in the state finals which had been taken to a penalty shoot-out. People had taken off their visors and straw hats, and the night now was windless and warm.
It was my chance to be an irredeemable villain or a coveted hero. A goal would result in a Championship win and a wayward shot would result in the door being blow open for the opponents.
I line up the shot and say to myself "this is everything you've trained for". Momentarily I lose myself to a world of trance and when I'm back in the present I am mobbed by team mates backed up with huge cheers. All at once I feel like I am exactly where I want to be. Twelve years, a hundred matches, one Trophy. Soccer is my inspiration. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Okay that's my essay the only problem is that it's 162 words. Any hints/ suggestions and grammar corrections? Thanks!
There was no moon over the soccer stadium, but it was after midnight, the risers still crowded, and our soccer team was playing in the state finals which had been taken to a penalty shoot-out. People had taken off their visors and straw hats, and the night now was windless and warm.
It was my chance to be an irredeemable villain or a coveted hero. A goal would result in a Championship win and a wayward shot would result in the door being blow open for the opponents.
I line up the shot and say to myself "this is everything you've trained for". Momentarily I lose myself to a world of trance and when I'm back in the present I am mobbed by team mates backed up with huge cheers. All at once I feel like I am exactly where I want to be. Twelve years, a hundred matches, one Trophy. Soccer is my inspiration. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Okay that's my essay the only problem is that it's 162 words. Any hints/ suggestions and grammar corrections? Thanks!
