Writing Feedback / Is it right or wrong for children to engage in paid work to get a salary at the early age? Task 2 [2]

Hi everyone, I'm going to take a test in the next two weeks, so please help to correct my essay and feel free to give any comment on this essay :) Thanks in advance.

In many countries, children are engaged in some kind of paid work. Some people regard this as completely wrong, while others consider it as valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In these days, we see many children apply for an extra work to get a salary at the early age. There are some arguments related to this trend whether it is good or bad to allow children to work themselves. In my view, I believe that the positive aspects far outweigh the detrimental sides with various reasons. In this essay, both sides will be examined.

It is absolutely that children are in the stage of learning. Many people concern that if young people start their extra jobs, it will distract them from focusing on their school lessons. Children might not be able to separate their work life from their study life. Furthermore, we can see many children enter into some illegal jobs, such as being a drug dealer, at a very early age. It is undeniable that some kind of works are more attractive and generate them more money than others, and, sometimes, parents do not have enough time to take care of and control their children to apply for the right job. As a result, it would lead children to the dark aspects of working, at the stage that they have not learned to distinguish bright side from the dark side.

However, a lot of people feel that there are numerous advantages for young people involving working an extra job. Firstly, applying for paid work is the very beginning lesson to learn to realise the real value of money. Research from Chulalongkorn University, the leading university in Thailand, revealed that 70% of children who used to involve in extra jobs have a deep understanding about the value of money and be able to realise how hard their parents attempt in generating money for them each month. Moreover, it teaches them financial management skill. The research also showed that they tend to save more money themselves without their parents' instructions. They automatically know how to manage money for both spendings and savings for their future. Another important aspect, it provides them with a chance to learn life skills. Some skills, such as interpersonal skill, negotiation skill, and so on, are particular skills that the school could not teach them, but working does. Several surveys confirmed that employees who have working experience at the early ages showed more confidence and a better communication skill at work.

To conclude, many people might say it is a wrong belief to send a child to work at the early ages, however, I believe that working at younger ages could benefit the child further, no matter with a better financial management, life skill, and many more. If parents know how to look after their child and control them carefully in selecting the most appropriated extra job, this, working an extra job, will help broaden their views in the way they could not learn from a school.

Writing Feedback / It is the visitors' responsibilities to learn how to behave properly when they visit other countries [4]

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs & behaviour. Other disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

All countries have different and unique cultures. Many people say that it would be better if the travellers follow local customs of each country they visit, while others disagree and feel that a good host should be willing to accept different cultures and behaviours. Personally, I agree that it is the visitors' responsibilities to learn how to behave properly when they visit other countries. In this essay, both view will be examined.

On one hand, a lot of people believe that being a good host is to understand and adapt one's behaviour to match with visitor's behaviour with the plenty of reasons. Firstly, one country will be able to generate more incomes if visitors satisfy when they come to travel in that place and repeat their travels. Some hosts want to impress their travellers by showing how much they understand them. For instance, most travellers will be served with American breakfast that they are familiar with in order to make sure that they will enjoy their meals. Furthermore, many hosts realize that it is the way to exchange cultures with visitors while staying in their own country.

On the other hand, many people feel that local customs have its own value that should not be changed or adapted to please any other. Firstly, it is undeniable that the diverse local customs and cultures are one of the main reasons why travellers start their journeys. There are a lot of beauties when exposing to different cultures, believes and behaviours in each countries. If the hosts drop their own values, the charms of travelling will be lost. Secondly, in each year, there are hundreds of different nationalities visited in one country. It seems to be impossible to force the hosts to learn all those cultures. Moreover, following local customs is the way to express that visitors respect and value in host's culture. Simply example is when we visit our friend's home, we would rather follow their home's rule, not break their rule, to make both comfortable to live with each other.

In conclusion, even though there are some people believe that the host country should accept and welcome all kinds of visitors' cultures, in my view, I still trust that a good visitor should learn to behave appropriately when they go to other countries. If every traveler opens their mind to accept the different cultures, what they will get from their journey will be more memorable and valuable than just going to travel, certainly.