Writing Feedback / Discuss about computers are replacing more and more jobs nowadays. [2]

Hi nguyeneze7496. here are my suggestions for you:

... believed to bring a more modern and convenient life and ..
But everything isn't like as simple as that yet, computers are ...
What is threatenedthe future drawback is that an amount of (...) jobs will be eliminated in the future .

... lectures with many kinds of subjects such as e English, gG eography, cC hemistry, mM ath, andpP hysics... (please don't type many points in academic essay ) This program nearly provides (...) for their study without another the other direct teachers . As a consequence, the teacher will be replaced by the appearance of the computer.

... also are affected like the postman, (...) or goods (make it compound).
... system on the computer is the best choice (...) because of saving more time and money.

... by automated bank machine which helpshelping customers to solve ...
The ATM as a part of the smart computer system (...) to withdraw money in credit card .

Another job as an inspector, collecting tickets (...) when an automated machine helps ...
... libraries or cinema theatrestheaters , people don't need to ...
I believe that some of the unnecessary jobs are ...

suggestions: try to paraphrasing your sentence. because i saw that you used the same words a lot. you can find similar words in thesaurus dictionary. Goodluck and keep spirited!

Writing Feedback / Describe some jobs positions that may be lost because of computers, and discuss at least one problem [2]

Hi Huynh Anh. your explanation is good and interesting either. here is my suggestion for you

... (AI) is coming (it will be good if you can give an easy explanation about AI) .
... replacing people doing some works [If you refer to the activity, it should be uncountable noun] .
... any skill or experience as the human, it still completes everything very good even better than people.

... reduce employees' payment so they can invest in some hi-tech ...
... for booking goods through the internet or buying online so they do not need salesclerks for makemaking appointment, receiving customers' requirements and placeplacing for distribution. missing subject here

... for employees' salary, but also save time for customers' purchasingpurchase and lessen unwanted mistake.

... lost because of the replacing automatic answer machine. This replacing will give customers better ...
... answer system will be programedprogrammed with very interested and light ...
... to people calling to the Cc all center because of ...

In overall, the replacingreplacement of technology in our life ...
In the near future, there isare not many positions for working people working because of reducing (...) company leadsleading to the results of competition ...

It iswill bevery good if we use hi- tech equipment in ...

Goodluck and keep spirited!

• 
  Work or Job?