Writing Feedback / (TOEFL) Are people earning a lot of money qualified as a successful person? [3]

Your suggestion will be highly appreciated.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Are people earning a lot of money qualified as a successful person?
Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Everything needs money, but money is not everything. In my opinion, it is inappropriate to consider if people are successful by how much money they make. In the following paragraph, I will give two specific examples to elaborate my idea.

A person who can positively influence people is successful. Kevin Lin, a Taiwanese ultramarathon runner, always dreamed of becoming a great athlete since little. He is not tall and has no physical advantage to compete with other athletes. Instead of giving up, he got up at four and ran thirty kilometers every day before going to school. With continuing practice, he has become the first modern runner to cross Sahara desert in Asia and accomplished many of the most difficult marathons in the world. The most of all, he not only encourage athletes not to be afraid of physical disadvantages but also everyone to fulfill their dreams. Kevin doesn't earn like a millionaire, but the way he influence people is admirable.

Take an eighteen-year old girl, Malala Yousafgzai as an example. When Taliban took control the village where she live in Pakistan and banned her from school, she refused to be silent and fought for the right of education. She has been the BBC blogger since she was only eleven years old. She wrote about the life that people's rights are taken away and the article attracted a lot of attention worldwide. However, she was shoot in the head by Taliban because of her advocacy for education and for women. She miraculously recovered from extremely critical condition and continued her activism. She is the youngest ever Nobel Peace Prize owner. Her struggle against the suppression deserves people's respect.

To conclude, the meaning of success should be redefined. As long as people could have positive effects on others and even make the world better like Kevin Lin and Malala Yousafzai, I think they are successful. Earning money should not be the only one thing matters in our life.