Undergraduate / "Perseverance"- UF Application Essay [5]

This is my first draft, so please be critical and tell me of any errors, however small! I've always wanted to go to UF since I was little, so please help me if you can! I'm not sure where I should put the part about how it will affect my college experience, etc. because I think that last paragraph should be the final thing, but I'm open to any advice. Thanks in advance!

In the space provided, please write a concise narrative in which you describe a meaningful event, experience or accomplishment in your life and how it will affect your college experience or your contribution to the UF campus community. You may want to reflect on your ideas about student responsibility, academic integrity, campus citizenship or a call to service.

As stood on the football field in front of a stadium full of people, I confidently smiled and waited for the music to start. Every Friday, the dance team performs in front of the large football crowd during halftime and this week was no different. The music started and the team and I started dancing. Suddenly, the music scratched and the speakers whined as if they were screaming at us. I saw everyone in the crowd cover their ears almost simultaneously. This had never happened before and no one on the team had any idea of what to do, including me. The crowd started booing and laughing loudly. I turned around and realized some girls were still dancing, some were standing in the middle of a motion, and some were staring at me, wondering what to do.

I realized, as I looked at my fellow co-captain, that we had to do something. As captains, it was our job to lead the team, in good times and bad. I turned around slightly and shouted to my teammates to get into the starting positions and wait for my count. I got back in my position, in the front, and stood facing the crowd and smiled, again confidently. Inside, though, my stomach was in a knot and I felt as though I was going to be sick. But, I told myself I had to do this, not for me, but for the ten other girls on my team who were probably just as embarrassed as I was.

"5, 6, 7, 8", I shouted loudly enough for the music director to here so he could start the music again. As the crowd continued to laugh, we started dancing once again. After the performance finally ended, with a quiet applause from the stands, we walked off the field.

Though I was embarrassed in front of the entire school, if I was asked to take back and erase the moment, I wouldn't. Because of this event, I know that I can motivate myself to persevere through any difficult situation, at UF and in other instances in my lifetime, and lead others to do the same. I also understand now how to learn from my mistakes.

A few weeks later, my team and I stood in front of the bleachers, once again, but this time for a basketball game. The music started, and we started dancing. At about twenty seconds into the performance, the music stopped. But this time, after only a few moments of hesitation and before the crowd realized what had happened, we were in our starting positions waiting patiently to try again.

Word Count: 438