Undergraduate / My parent's smile and joy- experiences that helped to define you as a person [5]

hi. pls help me on my essay.give me suggestions to improve my piece. actually this is not yet done because i dont know what to write next!mental block here. help pls! so here it is. (fingers cross)

"Who are you?" A very straightforward question. Yet, it is surprising that many of us could not decide what to say, being uncertain of the answers themselves.

Every single one of our past experiences was characterizing us, serving as our road of becoming who we are now. Every single experience that a person has contributes to their individuality, be it in a profound or an inconsequential way.

When I was writing this piece, memories started to flash back. I suddenly travel back through time. As JK Rowling would say, I entered the pensieve, just like Harry Potter and Dumbledore. Extremely vivid memories were rapidly swimming in my thoughts. It was like a collection of movie clips playing so fast. It is there. The one when I was little and don't have a care in this world. It's just me and my world. Then abruptly, I was being pulled in a different dimension. I can see myself clearly on my very first day of school. How my chin wobbled and my eyes started to water because I feel so alone. And in just a mere second I saw myself going up the stage receiving my very first award, my parents being so proud of me. But in an instant my moment of happiness was transformed into moment of humiliation. Why? Because my tampered memories came into view. Tampered because I don't want to remember them, since it was all losing memories.

"I was not delivered into this world into defeat nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be lead by my shepherd, I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep. The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny. I will persist until I succeed"

So you see? I was afraid of losing. I don't want losing. Cause I am not a loser. I was brought up with the expectation from my parents that I should always be on top. Hell. It was a pressure. So there's nothing that I can do but to reach that expectation. I always work hard. Often, I will spend sleepless night just to do a task what was asked of me. Even if sometimes I just want to tell them that I can't do it anymore, I keep a happy façade because me being on top makes them happy. Say it is masochist but I can sacrifice my own happiness just to see the smile and joy of my parents whenever I achieved something.