Writing Feedback / The sophisticated processes of making peanut butter [2]

Hello @hanimps97,

Here are some feedback:

... butter from harvesting the peanuts to packaging the product into the jarareis illustrated in diagram.
---> If I were you, I would delete the words in blue, because it makes the sentence too long and wordy.

... eight steps in the processes of producing peanut butter, those are started from: harvesting, ...

ThefF irst step, peanuts which have ...

Then, the nuts which that have been cooled,...

Hope this helps!

Scholarship / The Nuclear Reactor Safety major. Study plan for a scholarship [2]

Hello tatrumxuboom,

I think your essay is a bit too general.
You talked about the fact that you want to study nuclear safety, but you barely discuss why you want to study it. Maybe you could write about the importance of nuclear safety and how it relates to you. Likewise, the first paragraph is mostly information that anyone could find if they do some research. I think it will be better if you include more personal insight. Lastly, I don't think it is a good idea to put the topic of your graduation thesis in your study plan.

Hope this helps!