Unanswered [29] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by anageecantu
Name: Ana Cantu
Joined: Oct 30, 2016
Last Post: Oct 31, 2016
Threads: 1
Posts: 5  
Likes: 1
From: usa
School: IDEA QUEST

Displayed posts: 6
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anageecantu   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Why helmets don't prevent concussions and what might; TED [6]

Hello!

I think it's good that you referenced sources for your essay, but I think before you move on for more specific revisions you should fix general typos and flaws in structure. I'm not sure if your second paragraph gets cut off, but the shift to mention the source is somewhat abrupt.

Still, good job!
anageecantu   
Oct 31, 2016
Writing Feedback / Restricting the air travel to prevent air pollution [3]

Fascinating topic. I like your essay overall!

However, I think you can have a better "hook" in your first sentence.

There are several cases of typos in your essay--nothing too major, all you need is to skim over for a general revision. The syntax (sentence length, structure) is also somewhat repetitive, but that can easily be fixed!

In addition, I think you can develop your conclusion more.

Again, overall, good essay. Don't be discouraged!
anageecantu   
Oct 30, 2016
Undergraduate / Why Rice? Intellectual atmosphere and traditions eg. celebrations revolving around Willy's statue. [9]

What motivated you to apply to Rice University? Please be specific. (250 word limit)

Ever since I was a kid, my parents encouraged me to work towards my goals, no matter how impossible they seemed at the time. For them, the most important goal my siblings and I could have was having a postsecondary education, ideally at the best university we could possibly attend. And so, with this expectation, I researched colleges early on in my life--Rice being one of them. Described as "Texas' Ivy League," Rice boasted the intellectual integrity of an elite university while also being in one of the funnest cities in the country. Even from my early research I knew Rice was among the most competitive, interesting universities I could ever hope to attend--I knew I wanted to go there. In addition to the intellectual atmosphere, I have always wanted to participate in the Rice's traditions, such as the celebrations revolving around Willy's statue and the support system of the houses in the residential college system.

Throughout my high school career, I contemplated whether I would belong at Rice. Being a considerably introverted person, I hope that in the huge city of Houston I will be able to become more social. In addition to being an increasingly competitive scholar, I know being in a challenging environment such as Rice will help me grow as a student. In the end, my attending Rice will not only make me a better student--it'll make me a better person.

THANK YOU SO MUCH!
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