If anyone has experinces with the appeals process any information would be very help full this is the beginning of my appeals letter suggestions are greatly appreciated ...
Grades are said to reflect academic potential but for me this is not the case. I do not feel that my grades adequately reflect my academic potential. Throughout high school I struggled with my health; it affected my overall academic performance. I am no longer dealing with those same issues that plagued almost all of my high school experience and now have the opportunity to grow into the person I aspire to be. Education has always been very important to me. I had decided to take numerous advanced placement courses due to my desire to learn and challenge myself in a higher level setting. Despite not obtaining the required credit to pass some of those courses I know I have the capability to succeed in courses of the same level of difficulty. It is impossible to change the past and as much as I have dwelled over this subject there is no way I can go back and change the course of events. There is nothing I can do, but move on and work even harder to correct my past mistakes. I do not wish to be defined by those courses in which I did not pass, but instead to be defined by the potential which I possess and the motivation in which my dreams are being framed into action. I was always belittled by school counselors when I told them of my academic goals, because of those courses. My counselor did not believe I had the potential to finish those two English courses on independent study, but I was able to contradict her belief when I finished an entire English semester course in less than two weeks with A as my final grade. I was able to finish both English courses three months ahead of schedule. I want college to be my opportunity to start over completely new. It's extremely difficult convincing others especially through paper of the potential I feel inside, but I know I can do great things.
Greetings,
In your post here you have expressed your difficulty very well and sound like you are articulate and capable of progressing with your chosen course of study. The counsellor/tutor should discuss in detail with you your work and point out to you exactly what you may need to work on. Keep in mind that everyone has their weak and strong points. Is there someone ( involved with education) outside the institution you are currently attending, who could support and assist you with composing and presenting your letter of appeal, where care and attention to detail such as spelling and punctuation is important.
I hope this is helpful to you.
any more suggestions?
last draft any feedback or advice is greatly appreciated
I am writing to request reconsideration for admission into the fall undergraduate class. After reviewing my application I realized that I had submitted my common application without any insight into my character and failed to adequately represent myself as a whole. I had submitted my common application on December first but I later discovered that this original application could not be altered or recreated in any way. I am involved in numerous extracurricular and volunteer activities, some of which were not listed on this original application. I am the type of student that always has to be somewhere or doing something. I give a majority of my time to community involvement.
My transcripts, along with my mid-year report show inconsistencies in my grades. The changes in my transcript reflect the new grades from the classes I have retaken, and are as follows. For the first semester of Chemistry AP of my 11th grade year the grade changed from a D to a C. For semester two of English III AP that credit has been satisfied in English III CP with a grade of A. My mid-year report shows that I did not pass the first semester of Literature and Composition AP for my 12th grade year but I have satisfied that English credit in English IV CP with the grade of A. I was able to finish an entire English semester course in less than two weeks with A as my final grade; I finished both English courses three months ahead of schedule. These changes have raised my overall GPA and my class rank. My class rank improved 23 spots making me number 47 in my class. Grades are said to reflect academic potential but for me this is not the case. I do not feel that my grades adequately reflect my academic potential. Throughout high school I struggled with my health; it affected my overall academic performance. I am no longer dealing with those same issues that plagued almost all of my high school experience and now have the opportunity to grow into the person I aspire to be. Education has always been very important to me. I had decided to take numerous advanced placement courses due to my desire to learn and challenge myself in a higher level setting. It is impossible to change the past and as much as I have dwelled over this subject there is no way I can go back and change the course of events. There is nothing I can do, but move on and work even harder to correct my past mistakes. I do not wish to be defined by those courses in which I did not pass, but instead to be defined by the potential which I possess and the motivation in which my dreams are being framed into action.
As this last semester of high school rapidly comes to an end, I feel a distinct change within myself. I have been strengthening my weaknesses, and look forward to the college experience to grow into the individual I aspire to be. I understand and respect your admissions decision, but I do hope to you will reconsider my application. USC was the school I was most impressed with; it is the school that I can best fit into. "Fight on!" the song of USC is one that in a way fits who I am. I am someone that is willing to work as hard as I possibly can to achieve my dreams and goals. I hope I can be given the opportunity to prove myself and shine in the Trojan community.
I read your first draft and thought it lacked some detailed. It made you sound interesting, however, and like you're an interesting person with an interesting background. I liked the second draft better because it has a little bit more personality and detail. There's a very grammatical errors, but they can easily be fixed if you let your English teacher proofread this essay. "I had submitted my common application on December first, but I later discovered that this original application could not be altered or recreated in any way." "There is nothing I can do, but move on and work even harder to correct my past mistakes. ".. something wrong with this sentence, but not sure exactly what! Needs a bit more work, but overall a very solid piece. Good luck.
Re the sentence ' There is nothing I can do etc... Try phrasing it another way i.e. as my original application has already been submitted and is now being processed, my only option is to wait and see what the response from the college will be."
Planning to work harder is always good but you will need to know what the college wants and expects and what you have to focus on. You won't have a clear idea of what is required or expected of you until the college informs you when it replies to your application.
I hope this is of help to you and good luck with your application.
The first and second sentences basically states the same thing. You only need one. You might not even need any if you expand a bit on your health problem. See if you can be more specific on that.
It is impossible to change the past and as much as I have dwelled over this subject there is no way I can go back and change the course of events. There is nothing I can do, but move on and work even harder to correct my past mistakes. I do not wish to be defined by those courses in which I did not pass,
These 3 sentences too essentially states the same thing.
The counselor part is the best part of your essay: clear evidence to support your point that you have the motivation and quality.
And you might want to mention why you're appealing for a specific course you're applying to.
edit: Oh, sorry, I'm referring to your first draft. I didn't see a new one.