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Write an email about yourself to a homestay family in that country



ramiyoung 1 / -  
Aug 19, 2016   #1
Dear Mr and Mrs John,
I'm Young and i come from Korea. Today, i write this letter to thanks for allow me to stay with your family when i live and study in New York next month.

I'm 16 years old and study at Seoul High School. I live in Korea with my family: father, mother and younger brother. My father is a businessman, my mother works at her shop and my brother is 5 years old so he doesn't go to school.

In free time, i like listening to music or going out for shopping with my friends. i also like watching films, so i often go to the cinema.

While i'm there, i want to hard study and try to improve my english. On the other hand. i'm ready to discover a beautiful country - New York. I think i'll be exciting with a new life in New York. After finshing university, i want to become a businessmen like my father. That's my dream.

I'm looking forward to meeting you when i arrive. i hope we lives happy and has memorables together.
Best wishes
Ra Mi Young

tyar32 10 / 11  
Aug 20, 2016   #2
Hi ramiyoung
I have some suggestions for you. I hope it will help you to correct your email.

I'm Young,and i come from Korea. ----> I'm Young, from Korea.
i write this letter to thanks for allow me to stay with your family ----> i want to say thanks wirh this letter for allow me to stay with your family

My father is a businessman, my mother works at her shop and my ... ----> complex sentense
On the other hand. i'm ready to discover a beautiful country ----> On the other hand, i very interest to discover your beloved country

tyar32
ichanpants89 16 / 742  
Aug 21, 2016   #3
Hi Ra Mi, welcome to EF! :)

I would like to modify and rewrite your letter completely because the format of your letter is quite messy. You've neglected some important points in writing a letter, especially punctuation marks.

Dear Mr and Mrs John

Dear Mr and Mrs John,

I'm YoungMy name's Young and I come from Korea. Today, iI am writingwrite this letter to thanksexpress my gratitude for allowing me to stay with your family when I am going to live and study ...

I'm 16 years old, and I study at Seoul High School. I live in Korea with my family, particularly my father, mother, and my younger brother. My father is a businessman, my mother works at her shop, and my brother is still 5 years old, so that he doesn'thasn'tgone to school yet .

In free time, I like listening to (...) shopping with my friends. I also like watching films, so I often go to the cinema.

Next month, while I'm studying there, I want to hard study study hard and try to improve my English.On the other hand. i'mAlso, I am ready to discover a beautifulwonderfulcountrycity like New York. I think i'llthat it would be exciting to havewith a new life in New York. After finishing universitymy undergraduate study , I want to becomebe a businessmen like my father. That's one of my biggest dreams .

I hope we lives happy and has memorables together.can live happily and share many memorable experience together.

Best wishes,
Ra Mi Young

As you can see, Space, Capitalization, and Punctuation marks are really important. Good luck in revising this letter :)
bbcheesecake14 10 / 13  
Aug 22, 2016   #4
hi Rami ;), here is my correction for your essay.

-Dear Mr and Mrs John, don't forget to bring period after Mr. and Mrs.
- use capital when writing I
- a businessmen >> it's singular right? 'men' is plural, so you should change it into 'man'
-finshing >> finishing
- memorables >> memorable
- I'm YoungMy name's Young and I come from Korea...
- Today, iI am writingwrite this...

ah i think it's enough, keep spirit yaaa!
Faridadwi18 67 / 93  
Aug 22, 2016   #5
Hi young,

- I'mMy name is Young and i come from Korea. Today, i writeam writing this letter to thanksshow my gratitude for allowallowing me to stay with your family when i am going to live and study ...

- I'm 16 years old andI study at Seoul High School
- My father is a businessman, my mother works at her own shop and my (...) go to school yet.
- In thefreemean time, i like listening to the music or going out ...
- While i'm studying there, i want to hard study hard and try to improve my english skill .
- I think i'll be exciting to experiencewith a new life in New York.

Hopefully it helps.


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