after I saw a new picture of my teacher...
I just figure it out...
I just knew it...
since I saw this picture.
this picture answers all of my questions....
Why my reading is so bad?
Why my writing is shit?
Why could not I talk for a minute without stopping?
Why I'm very weak in conversation?
It was not my fault....
the one who taught me was not a teacher....
he was a gangster....
he was a gang member...
he was a hustler....
Whatever he was, but he was not a teacher....
The poem is somewhat ambiguous. What exactly are you trying to convey to readers?
bilal ABUZENAH
Hi, Bilal! Nice to see you back (where ya been??).
This poem is interesting, though I agree with Akua that it is ambiguous. Did you see your teacher's mug-shot in the morning paper or something? One small line of clarity would help this immensely. For instance, if your poem was about a teacher who got arrested, a stark 'headline' could be worked in with the poem <does that make any sense??
I have about ten million poems (exaggerating again...) written in times of angst that no one would understand; they could be good, but they are only good enough for me at this point, haha! What I would like to see at the beginning of many published poems that are frustratingly enigmatic is a brief explanation by the author. Some might think that would make the poem pointless, but sometimes I would like to see into someones mind for a second, ya know? Same goes for song lyrics.
Oh, well! Blue skies!
Jeannie
Your parting 'blue skies' makes your remarks appear more flippant than you probably intend them to be ! Your slightly exaggerated self-deprecatory end-of-each-sentence comment is also better omitted- in your own threads. That said, your tone is very level, and your general enthusiasm very refreshing.
Thanks for the critique of my personality, Rajiv. Was your intention to piss me off? You should try to know someone before you attempt such utterances; you would appear less foolish and malevolent that way...
Blues,
Jeannie
If you would take the time to left click on my name, you will be privy to every post I have ever made, and you will see that I am sincere. 'Blue skies' is very special to me, and everyone else gets it, so shut up. Thanks!
Thanks Jeannie
Bilal, here is my challenge for you:
If you do not already play the guitar, get one and use the internet to learn two chords: A major and G major. For some reason, I hear those chords in my head when I read your poem. The instrument does not hve to be a guitar, but that is what I hear in my head.
Why do you capitalize the first letter of each line sometimes and not other times?
Why all the dots...
there should just be 3 ...
How awful it is when someone tries to teach you something and they are not in a position to understand well enough to criticize!! How awful it is when someone plays the role of the teacher when that person is not in a position to know. And speaking of that, what's up with this strange exchange between two of my favorite people? ha ha, well, "words are a difficult means of communication." (Mitose). ha ha, let it all out here, and we can offend one another in educative ways.