'In darkness, I see light In day, I see night' - free / haiku poem
I also have to do a free worse poem ....i have writed two can you tell me which one makes sense more..and also edit it for please
1.From the first time I have meet you
Every sight has changed in my life
Even when I walk on hard rock bricks
It feel like soft smooth sheets of flowers
In darkness, I see light
In day, I see night
There is intoxication in your eyes
That makes me crazy
I have searched for you everywhere
Above and under the sky
On river waves
Droplets of water touch
Just like your hands
Is this love that has captured me
A strange ecstasy delights
I have to write a haiku poem(A japanese lyric verse form having three unthymed lines of five,seven, and five syllables, traditionally invoking an aspect of nature or the season)
My teacher gave me this example:
Clouds sit still above(5 syllables)
Mountains stir a placid sea(7 syllables)
Nature's beauty glows(5 syllables)
I dont no what to write i want to write something about nature can you help
I also have to write a limerick poem(which has to 5 lines with the 1st, 2nd, and 5th line rhyming, and 3rd and 4th lines rhyming together) My teacher gave us this babyish example he told us to something much better then this but my mind is black...help me please...my teachers example:
There once was a young girl named jill
Who was scared by the sight of a drill
She brushed everyday
So her dentist would say,
Your teeth are so perfect; no bill today
Thank you
Greetings!
I'd be glad to help! Let's take your questions one at a time. The first poem is very good! The only suggestion I would make is perhaps to say "The scent of beautiful flowers" [or you could use other adjectives like "blooming flowers" or "spring flowers" or whatever]; scent has a more positive connotation than smell.
For the next one, I like both of them; I think you could take parts from each and make it even better, perhaps like this:
From the first time I met you [it's not grammatically correct to say "have meet"]
Every sight has changed in my life
Even whenas I walk on hard bricks
ItThey feel like soft smooth sheets of flowerslinen
Under my feet
[...]
A strange ecstasy delights
If that makes it too long, you could take out the river waves part.
I like writing haikus about nature. The thing is to just sit still first and picture what you want to say, without words. My favorite part of nature is sunsets, so I would write something like this:
The sun says good-bye
Setting fire to the lake
As my dreams awake
(I counted "fire" as having two syllables).
I think limericks are lots of fun! It's important to get the rhythm going in your head. Play around with it on paper (or monitor screen) for a while and see what you come up with. It helps if your last line is rather amusing. Here's one I came up with:
There once was a farmer named Weiser
Who horded his cash like a miser
His goat found the stash
And chowed down on the cash
Now his money's become fertilizer
Probably the more limericks you read, the easier it will become to come up with your own ideas. Good luck!
Thanks,
Sarah, EssayForum.com
Home / Poetry / 'In darkness, I see light In day, I see night' - free / haiku poem |
Need Writing or Editing Help?