I really like this! You might add a little drama by adding a question mark after the word "when". At the end, it seems like the person whose life it was, became senile, asking, "Is WHAT worth it?" Nice job!
Something important about this style is that it causes the reader to move quickly downward in a vertical line, and the shape taken by the line forme by the right side of the lines is significant. It has a particular effect. In that way, this kind of poem has an important visual aspect.