Please help me by supplying me with my areas of weakness (at least three of them). Thank you!
When someone graduates from high school and turns eighteen, they might receive a car, a trip, or even a ring in a traditional household. When foster youth age out at eighteen, they lose access to housing, food, support, and free medical care. One of the haunting moments in a foster child's life is being woken up two days after turning eighteen and told that the state no longer pays for them and that they must leave. Even then, through the shock of removal from their final foster home, and though they may not be aware of it, the only tangible thing that foster children can claim is the right to make their own choices. Even if they cannot see it, their future success depends on their choices from the moment they are conscious of the world in which they live.
If one were to look only at the most current foster care statistics, then believing there is hope for foster children aging out of the system would be difficult. In 2019 there was an estimated 424 thousand foster youth nationwide. The median age of children in foster care was six and a half years old, and depending on where they live, 20,000 will age out of the system between the ages of 18 to 21 (children's). Once a foster child has aged out of the system, they are highly likely to become homeless, have difficulty finding employment, develop substance abuse problems, become pregnant at an early age, and are at a higher risk of committing a crime. In an interview with S.E., a former foster youth in foster care from the age of five, she said that she spent the first month in a runaway shelter after aging out of the system because there was nowhere else to place her. Because of the shelter's strict rules, she was not allowed to leave the house without a plan in writing, details about her day, a checklist for the jobs she was to search for and to be back at the shelter at a specific time every night. Then she was moved to a homeless shelter for the next three months until the court could finally emancipate her. In the shelter, she drank with another resident in the park day after day, lost enough weight to concern the staff, and became so depressed that she was placed on suicide watch. Later, while still eighteen, she became pregnant, lived in another shelter, and gave her baby up for open adoption. Ironically after release from the state's custody, she had nowhere to go, so she became homeless. S.E. said she chose open adoption because she knew what it was like to wonder why she wasn't with her biological family.
The circumstances associated with the removal of a child are varied and could indicate the lack of choices without some positive influence in their life. There are several reasons a child is removed from their home and placed in foster care. Neglect, parental drug abuse, physical abuse of the child, housing insecurity, parental incarceration, sexual abuse of the child, and disability of the child are just a few reasons for removal from the home. However, in almost all instances, the child blames themselves for their removal and family upheaval. As a result of this self-blame, many children experience multiple placements during their time in foster care. One study found that children had experienced an average of nine foster home placements before entering residential care, with over one-third of these children having 11 or more placements (Kolos). With so many changes and a sense of being out of control, the need for structure and a stable environment increases with each relocation. A child in foster care, on the other hand, is unable to articulate these emotions, and the cycle of self-blame continues.
Play therapy is a validated approach that draws on children's natural and communicative learning processes to satisfy the need for structure and a healthy, stable atmosphere. For children in foster care, non-directive play therapy can the first time they experience the feeling of being in control of their environment. Make-believe, playing with dolls and stuffed animals, playing games, painting, drawing, sculpting, and using sensory toys are tools that Play Therapists use to show a healthy and non-judgmental environment for the child to express themselves (Theranest). From reflecting thoughts and feelings through stories and processing emotions through creating art to learning techniques for relaxation and a sense of mastery over their surroundings, foster children can realize they have choices, and those choices are valid. They are sometimes gently directed into appropriate behavior, and the introduction of boundaries, though unfamiliar, feels safe. While highly beneficial for processing trauma, giving foster children options aids in their decision-making later in life and promotes self-expression and imagination. While play therapy is most often used for children aged 3 to 12, their choices can serve as a springboard for making decisions as they grow older.
Just as those not in foster care, as foster children grow up, a sense of belonging is one more thing they must navigate and figure out. The lessons of boundaries and safe environments learned in play therapy have graduated into finding a place to belong. For high school-aged foster youth, discovering their sense of place is one of the most difficult tasks they will ever face. In S.E.'s recollection of her time in one foster family, she recalled when the family visited friends in a neighboring town during the winter. The biological siblings went outside to go sledding with the family friends' kids, and S.E. went along with the group. The group of children walked far ahead of S.E., and when she caught up to them, they told her they did not want her to play with them. When she walked back into the house to spend time with the adults, they asked her what she was doing inside and demanded she go outside and play with the other children. In her confusion, S.E. went back outside and stood in the snow and waited. When asked what she was waiting on in the personal interview, S.E.'s response was "to belong somewhere." It has been over forty years for S.E. since that night, and upon recollection, she can still remember every detail of her surroundings. Still, she cannot remember going back into the house with the adults or finding the other children to join in sledding. According to S.E., the harshest memory is the feeling she did not belong anywhere.
According to the Family Care Network, the two main features of belonging are the need to have constant, positive, personal interactions with others. And that those interactions are just as crucial to the other person and will continue in the future. The problem with foster care, even long-term foster care, is that it does not support this idea at all. Indeed foster care is based around instability and unpredictability (Roberts). With an average of 11 or more placements for foster youth, the need for belonging is such that they cannot recognize it when they eventually feel as though they finally fit in somewhere.
All hope is not lost, however. Regardless of the reasons for removal from the familial home or a myriad of foster homes, children can be resilient if provided with the necessary building blocks for success. Caring relationships, high aspirations, and opportunities to engage and contribute are the three vital ingredients for building resilience and helping young people excel, according to the Annie E. Casey Foundation (Casey). It's important to step away from seeing resilience as a fixed personality trait. It is not true that young people are either resilient or not resilient. Resilience has been defined as "good outcomes in spite of threats to adaptation or development" (Masten). By surviving day-to-day struggles and home-to-home placements, foster kids become self-reliant and determined. They will succeed if they are given the same resources and encouragement as other young people. Implementing the idea of making one's own decisions at a young age through play therapy and follow-up by social workers and clinicians, or even a therapeutic foster family, can be the key to success as a foster child ages out of the system. Though resiliency is the goal for foster children who have experienced trauma or disability setbacks, the development of resiliency is unique to each individual because it focuses on strengths instead of insecurities or instabilities. The freedom and idea of making one's own choices, discovering one's strengths despite insecurities is a concept that applies to all children, whether fostered or not.
Even if given the opportunity of play therapy, encouragement, support, and the lessons of resiliency and discovering one's strengths, there is still the problem of resources of foster children aging out of the system. The scariest part of aging out for foster youth is not knowing when their social worker will show up and tell them they are "free to go." Federal law now requires child welfare agencies to help those aging out with a transition plan before turning eighteen (U.S.). However, the fact remains that even though a federally mandated transition plan is in place, a foster youth who has aged out and is on their own is a terrifying experience. The first night she was on her own, S.E. recalls standing at a bus stop waiting on the city bus and smoking a cigarette, wondering what would happen next. When asked to expound on the statement, she said that she was not sure what she was trying to say, but at the time, she knew precisely the fear she felt.
Much like the process of resiliency, defining success for former foster youth is subjective. If they have been shown compassion from any one person, taught the method of resiliency, and shown they are worth more than that trauma that has happened in their lives, then the chances of their success will be greater. The subject of choice should be a theme that follows a foster child throughout their time in the system-making the right choices can define success by affecting the former foster child, their community, and their world at large.
Works Cited
Children's Rights, childrensrights.
Kolos, Amie C. "The Role of Play Therapists in Children's Transitions: From Residential Care to Foster Care." International Journal of Play Therapy, vol. 18, no. 4, Oct. 2009, pp. 229-239. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1037/a0016336.
TheraNest. Non-Directive Play Therapy Techniques. Theranest.com. 9 Mar. 2020
Roberts, Jim. The Need to Belong: How the System Must Preserve a Foster Youths'
Belonging-ness. Family Care Network. 4 Nov. 2015.
The Annie E. Casey Foundation. Promoting Development of Resilience Among Young People in Foster Care. 27 Apr. 2012.
Masten, Ann S. "Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development." American Psychologist, vol. 56, no. 3, Mar. 2001, pp. 227-238. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.227.
U.S. Department of Education. New Foster Care Transition Toolkit Offers Tips for Helping Foster Youth Succeed as Adults. 26 May 2016.
Fostering Success: Beginning a New Life
When someone graduates from high school and turns eighteen, they might receive a car, a trip, or even a ring in a traditional household. When foster youth age out at eighteen, they lose access to housing, food, support, and free medical care. One of the haunting moments in a foster child's life is being woken up two days after turning eighteen and told that the state no longer pays for them and that they must leave. Even then, through the shock of removal from their final foster home, and though they may not be aware of it, the only tangible thing that foster children can claim is the right to make their own choices. Even if they cannot see it, their future success depends on their choices from the moment they are conscious of the world in which they live.
If one were to look only at the most current foster care statistics, then believing there is hope for foster children aging out of the system would be difficult. In 2019 there was an estimated 424 thousand foster youth nationwide. The median age of children in foster care was six and a half years old, and depending on where they live, 20,000 will age out of the system between the ages of 18 to 21 (children's). Once a foster child has aged out of the system, they are highly likely to become homeless, have difficulty finding employment, develop substance abuse problems, become pregnant at an early age, and are at a higher risk of committing a crime. In an interview with S.E., a former foster youth in foster care from the age of five, she said that she spent the first month in a runaway shelter after aging out of the system because there was nowhere else to place her. Because of the shelter's strict rules, she was not allowed to leave the house without a plan in writing, details about her day, a checklist for the jobs she was to search for and to be back at the shelter at a specific time every night. Then she was moved to a homeless shelter for the next three months until the court could finally emancipate her. In the shelter, she drank with another resident in the park day after day, lost enough weight to concern the staff, and became so depressed that she was placed on suicide watch. Later, while still eighteen, she became pregnant, lived in another shelter, and gave her baby up for open adoption. Ironically after release from the state's custody, she had nowhere to go, so she became homeless. S.E. said she chose open adoption because she knew what it was like to wonder why she wasn't with her biological family.
The circumstances associated with the removal of a child are varied and could indicate the lack of choices without some positive influence in their life. There are several reasons a child is removed from their home and placed in foster care. Neglect, parental drug abuse, physical abuse of the child, housing insecurity, parental incarceration, sexual abuse of the child, and disability of the child are just a few reasons for removal from the home. However, in almost all instances, the child blames themselves for their removal and family upheaval. As a result of this self-blame, many children experience multiple placements during their time in foster care. One study found that children had experienced an average of nine foster home placements before entering residential care, with over one-third of these children having 11 or more placements (Kolos). With so many changes and a sense of being out of control, the need for structure and a stable environment increases with each relocation. A child in foster care, on the other hand, is unable to articulate these emotions, and the cycle of self-blame continues.
Play therapy is a validated approach that draws on children's natural and communicative learning processes to satisfy the need for structure and a healthy, stable atmosphere. For children in foster care, non-directive play therapy can the first time they experience the feeling of being in control of their environment. Make-believe, playing with dolls and stuffed animals, playing games, painting, drawing, sculpting, and using sensory toys are tools that Play Therapists use to show a healthy and non-judgmental environment for the child to express themselves (Theranest). From reflecting thoughts and feelings through stories and processing emotions through creating art to learning techniques for relaxation and a sense of mastery over their surroundings, foster children can realize they have choices, and those choices are valid. They are sometimes gently directed into appropriate behavior, and the introduction of boundaries, though unfamiliar, feels safe. While highly beneficial for processing trauma, giving foster children options aids in their decision-making later in life and promotes self-expression and imagination. While play therapy is most often used for children aged 3 to 12, their choices can serve as a springboard for making decisions as they grow older.
Just as those not in foster care, as foster children grow up, a sense of belonging is one more thing they must navigate and figure out. The lessons of boundaries and safe environments learned in play therapy have graduated into finding a place to belong. For high school-aged foster youth, discovering their sense of place is one of the most difficult tasks they will ever face. In S.E.'s recollection of her time in one foster family, she recalled when the family visited friends in a neighboring town during the winter. The biological siblings went outside to go sledding with the family friends' kids, and S.E. went along with the group. The group of children walked far ahead of S.E., and when she caught up to them, they told her they did not want her to play with them. When she walked back into the house to spend time with the adults, they asked her what she was doing inside and demanded she go outside and play with the other children. In her confusion, S.E. went back outside and stood in the snow and waited. When asked what she was waiting on in the personal interview, S.E.'s response was "to belong somewhere." It has been over forty years for S.E. since that night, and upon recollection, she can still remember every detail of her surroundings. Still, she cannot remember going back into the house with the adults or finding the other children to join in sledding. According to S.E., the harshest memory is the feeling she did not belong anywhere.
According to the Family Care Network, the two main features of belonging are the need to have constant, positive, personal interactions with others. And that those interactions are just as crucial to the other person and will continue in the future. The problem with foster care, even long-term foster care, is that it does not support this idea at all. Indeed foster care is based around instability and unpredictability (Roberts). With an average of 11 or more placements for foster youth, the need for belonging is such that they cannot recognize it when they eventually feel as though they finally fit in somewhere.
All hope is not lost, however. Regardless of the reasons for removal from the familial home or a myriad of foster homes, children can be resilient if provided with the necessary building blocks for success. Caring relationships, high aspirations, and opportunities to engage and contribute are the three vital ingredients for building resilience and helping young people excel, according to the Annie E. Casey Foundation (Casey). It's important to step away from seeing resilience as a fixed personality trait. It is not true that young people are either resilient or not resilient. Resilience has been defined as "good outcomes in spite of threats to adaptation or development" (Masten). By surviving day-to-day struggles and home-to-home placements, foster kids become self-reliant and determined. They will succeed if they are given the same resources and encouragement as other young people. Implementing the idea of making one's own decisions at a young age through play therapy and follow-up by social workers and clinicians, or even a therapeutic foster family, can be the key to success as a foster child ages out of the system. Though resiliency is the goal for foster children who have experienced trauma or disability setbacks, the development of resiliency is unique to each individual because it focuses on strengths instead of insecurities or instabilities. The freedom and idea of making one's own choices, discovering one's strengths despite insecurities is a concept that applies to all children, whether fostered or not.
Even if given the opportunity of play therapy, encouragement, support, and the lessons of resiliency and discovering one's strengths, there is still the problem of resources of foster children aging out of the system. The scariest part of aging out for foster youth is not knowing when their social worker will show up and tell them they are "free to go." Federal law now requires child welfare agencies to help those aging out with a transition plan before turning eighteen (U.S.). However, the fact remains that even though a federally mandated transition plan is in place, a foster youth who has aged out and is on their own is a terrifying experience. The first night she was on her own, S.E. recalls standing at a bus stop waiting on the city bus and smoking a cigarette, wondering what would happen next. When asked to expound on the statement, she said that she was not sure what she was trying to say, but at the time, she knew precisely the fear she felt.
Much like the process of resiliency, defining success for former foster youth is subjective. If they have been shown compassion from any one person, taught the method of resiliency, and shown they are worth more than that trauma that has happened in their lives, then the chances of their success will be greater. The subject of choice should be a theme that follows a foster child throughout their time in the system-making the right choices can define success by affecting the former foster child, their community, and their world at large.
Works Cited
Children's Rights, childrensrights.
Kolos, Amie C. "The Role of Play Therapists in Children's Transitions: From Residential Care to Foster Care." International Journal of Play Therapy, vol. 18, no. 4, Oct. 2009, pp. 229-239. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1037/a0016336.
TheraNest. Non-Directive Play Therapy Techniques. Theranest.com. 9 Mar. 2020
Roberts, Jim. The Need to Belong: How the System Must Preserve a Foster Youths'
Belonging-ness. Family Care Network. 4 Nov. 2015.
The Annie E. Casey Foundation. Promoting Development of Resilience Among Young People in Foster Care. 27 Apr. 2012.
Masten, Ann S. "Ordinary Magic: Resilience Processes in Development." American Psychologist, vol. 56, no. 3, Mar. 2001, pp. 227-238. EBSCOhost, doi:10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.227.
U.S. Department of Education. New Foster Care Transition Toolkit Offers Tips for Helping Foster Youth Succeed as Adults. 26 May 2016.
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