Keyla Quintana
Instructor A. LaDuca
English 102
21 April 2016
The Emotional Aspects and Outcomes of Divorce
For the past couple decades, divorce has negatively impacted children's psychological health because parents aren't aware of how to handle the situation the best way possible. From the beginning of time, people from all over the world get married, live together, and start a family. During the past couple decades, many marriages fail to make it work and turn to divorce to finish and put their failures behind them. Now ninety percent of people marry by the age of fifty, however forty to fifty percent end up divorcing. There are many reasons as to why these people end up in divorce, they can lack commitment, argue too much, lack equality, struggle financially that leads to stress, abuse, infidelity, in-laws, and so on. Divorce can be a difficult time for the family, but it can be worse for the children involved. Many parents do not realize how negatively it impacts them, and tend to not realize it after the damage has already been done.
A lot of negative outcomes come from divorce, one being the financial problems each parent gets. When the couple divorces, they no longer share their income. Therefore, they have to set a new budget, and cut some expenses. In a lot of cases, the women make less money than their spouse or sometimes don't have to work. Often the children will stay with their mother but due to her income or lack of experience, the family overall will experience a lower standard of living due to each parent not joining or sharing their incomes anymore. This new budget can the cause misunderstandings and more conflict within the family. Most of the time, whichever parent receives more than fifty percent custody over their children will then have to relocate because of the new budget. Throughout the whole process, the parent that keeps the children usually has to look for another job, or for the women who didn't have one before now has to job hunt in order to make ends meet.
After the family chooses to relocate, the children often have a very hard time coping with it. With the new move, comes a new school and new peers. Children lose their old friends, and often have a hard time making new ones. Over time they start to lose respect for the opposite sex due to the lack of having a solid relationship with either of their parents. They lose their relationship with their parents because they're either angry with them, or because their parents are too busy and stressed to maintain the relationship. Apart from their social life minimizing, a lot of psychological damage is done to the children when they are the witnesses to their parents' divorce process. Many children and/or teens suffer and can become depressed due to the issues and fights between their parents.
There are many consequences when parents don't take precautions when it comes to getting their divorce. There ends up being long term consequences and some do have solutions. The children and every other family member that is involved can suffer in different ways, from anxiety, depression, and can have a hard time trusting anyone else in the future. The children or either of the parents usually aren't able to fully move on from the issues even after the divorce is settled. Their psychological reactions to their divorce can vary depending on three different factors, the first being how close or good of a relationship the children have with their parents, the second being the intensity or how long the divorce process and issues last, and the third being how well the parents focus on their children's needs. Some studies haves showed that boys adjusted easier academically and with their new social lives compared to girls, although they do suffer equally but just tend to show it differently. Boys tend to show it through anger and frustration, the might get in fights at school and rebel, or give parents a hard time at home by doing what they please and breaking the rules parents have for them such as chores or curfews. The girls tend to internalize their pain; they get depressed a lot easier. They might lose their appetite, develop headaches and stomach aches and can have many changes to their eating and sleeping habits.
Now after the divorce and every other problem they have seems to be over, it isn't. Their parents end up finding someone new, and it can seem too soon for them. In some cases, their new partner isn't liked by them, which can make their healing process a lot harder and last longer. When parents aren't aware of this change and how it is impacting children, the children tend to feel like they are "in the way", and can feel unwanted. That then can cause the relationship with their parents to worsen over time. They can also feel jealousy, and confusion. They're jealous because this new person has their parent's attention and is spending more time around them, and they can be confused because they don't understand why they have to be around them to begin with. Introducing someone new to the children is risky, it has to be done at the right time, under good circumstances, and be done the right way.
Parents should also be more aware of how their child's mind works and what to or what not to say. Planning out a way on how to break it to the children is very important as well, it can make a huge difference when it comes to how they will react and how well they will take it. It's always best to look for a psychiatrist's help instead of a family member who is already emotionally involved too. Asking someone for advice who is emotionally involved can overcloud good judgment, and can make matters worse for everyone. In the end if there is any hope for forgiveness, therapy and regular checkups are important throughout the process. Checking up on the children is crucial, making sure their homework is being done, making sure they are still attending their extracurricular activities, and making sure their chores around the house are being completed. The way the parents handle everything is crucial to what kind of person they grow up to be.
Instructor A. LaDuca
English 102
21 April 2016
The Emotional Aspects and Outcomes of Divorce
For the past couple decades, divorce has negatively impacted children's psychological health because parents aren't aware of how to handle the situation the best way possible. From the beginning of time, people from all over the world get married, live together, and start a family. During the past couple decades, many marriages fail to make it work and turn to divorce to finish and put their failures behind them. Now ninety percent of people marry by the age of fifty, however forty to fifty percent end up divorcing. There are many reasons as to why these people end up in divorce, they can lack commitment, argue too much, lack equality, struggle financially that leads to stress, abuse, infidelity, in-laws, and so on. Divorce can be a difficult time for the family, but it can be worse for the children involved. Many parents do not realize how negatively it impacts them, and tend to not realize it after the damage has already been done.
A lot of negative outcomes come from divorce, one being the financial problems each parent gets. When the couple divorces, they no longer share their income. Therefore, they have to set a new budget, and cut some expenses. In a lot of cases, the women make less money than their spouse or sometimes don't have to work. Often the children will stay with their mother but due to her income or lack of experience, the family overall will experience a lower standard of living due to each parent not joining or sharing their incomes anymore. This new budget can the cause misunderstandings and more conflict within the family. Most of the time, whichever parent receives more than fifty percent custody over their children will then have to relocate because of the new budget. Throughout the whole process, the parent that keeps the children usually has to look for another job, or for the women who didn't have one before now has to job hunt in order to make ends meet.
After the family chooses to relocate, the children often have a very hard time coping with it. With the new move, comes a new school and new peers. Children lose their old friends, and often have a hard time making new ones. Over time they start to lose respect for the opposite sex due to the lack of having a solid relationship with either of their parents. They lose their relationship with their parents because they're either angry with them, or because their parents are too busy and stressed to maintain the relationship. Apart from their social life minimizing, a lot of psychological damage is done to the children when they are the witnesses to their parents' divorce process. Many children and/or teens suffer and can become depressed due to the issues and fights between their parents.
There are many consequences when parents don't take precautions when it comes to getting their divorce. There ends up being long term consequences and some do have solutions. The children and every other family member that is involved can suffer in different ways, from anxiety, depression, and can have a hard time trusting anyone else in the future. The children or either of the parents usually aren't able to fully move on from the issues even after the divorce is settled. Their psychological reactions to their divorce can vary depending on three different factors, the first being how close or good of a relationship the children have with their parents, the second being the intensity or how long the divorce process and issues last, and the third being how well the parents focus on their children's needs. Some studies haves showed that boys adjusted easier academically and with their new social lives compared to girls, although they do suffer equally but just tend to show it differently. Boys tend to show it through anger and frustration, the might get in fights at school and rebel, or give parents a hard time at home by doing what they please and breaking the rules parents have for them such as chores or curfews. The girls tend to internalize their pain; they get depressed a lot easier. They might lose their appetite, develop headaches and stomach aches and can have many changes to their eating and sleeping habits.
Now after the divorce and every other problem they have seems to be over, it isn't. Their parents end up finding someone new, and it can seem too soon for them. In some cases, their new partner isn't liked by them, which can make their healing process a lot harder and last longer. When parents aren't aware of this change and how it is impacting children, the children tend to feel like they are "in the way", and can feel unwanted. That then can cause the relationship with their parents to worsen over time. They can also feel jealousy, and confusion. They're jealous because this new person has their parent's attention and is spending more time around them, and they can be confused because they don't understand why they have to be around them to begin with. Introducing someone new to the children is risky, it has to be done at the right time, under good circumstances, and be done the right way.
Parents should also be more aware of how their child's mind works and what to or what not to say. Planning out a way on how to break it to the children is very important as well, it can make a huge difference when it comes to how they will react and how well they will take it. It's always best to look for a psychiatrist's help instead of a family member who is already emotionally involved too. Asking someone for advice who is emotionally involved can overcloud good judgment, and can make matters worse for everyone. In the end if there is any hope for forgiveness, therapy and regular checkups are important throughout the process. Checking up on the children is crucial, making sure their homework is being done, making sure they are still attending their extracurricular activities, and making sure their chores around the house are being completed. The way the parents handle everything is crucial to what kind of person they grow up to be.
