a disturbing addiction
We as human beings are exposed to a variety of media outlets on a daily basis. From billboards, we see while driving to work, or advertisements that appear while we are reading our emails, companies have the ability of publishing content for the world to see in a numerous ways. The appropriateness of such content is what individuals have the freedom to choose between. More often than not, people do not find certain types of media to be erotic or promiscuous when it involves nudity or sexual behavior. Through my research on this matter, I have found that this type of media is in fact, pornographic substance in one way or another. Since such content is so easily accessible, my research has shown that individuals that view too much of said content become addicted to it in unhealthy ways. There are a variety of issues that can come from viewing pornographic content for long periods of time, but this paper is going to focus mainly on how prolonged exposure to pornographic content can lead to the destruction of relationships; as well as the inability for a person suffering with said addiction to build and keep new relationships as well.
Professors Ln Bryant and D. Zillman from the University of California wrote an article about pornography in 1989 regarding the ever-growing popularity of the addiction. Data shown within said article explains that individuals began purchasing more erotic, pornographic material than actual news information such as Time Magazine or Newsweek publications. Keep in mind- this article was written in the late 80's, early 90's; social media was not even invented at the time. Myspace, Facebook, Instagram, etc. are all media outlets that people have access to post such material on for anyone to see. My comparison here is to implore that readers understand that this is not a new issue or addiction that people are suffering from; it has grown in popularity over the past few decades. Since Pornographic material is commonly displayed through movie scenes, media advertisements, and individual social media accounts, there is a very wide range of people that connect to the material, whether they choose to be exposed, or not. Members of the Sex Information and Education Counsel of Canada dove into the actual addiction of pornography in order to determine how the addiction affects an individual's ability to create and keep relationships. Their data showed that some individuals within relationships (with a partner that views pornography) discovered that they feel that viewing pornography is a form of adultery.
It is very hard for some individuals within relationships to feel that they are worth enough to their partner that is viewing such material. Think of a middle-aged woman that is married to a middle aged man. They have had a great life together, they have built a family and sewn roots into their area. They are happy-they are content. One day the wife turns on the TV and sees a pornographic film her husband was watching in her absence. The female in the film is substantially younger than her, she is thinner, prettier, better in all categories in her mind. What is she to think? Does her husband expect her to be like the female in the film? Does he expect her to do what she is doing in the film? Is he seeking out other females similar to the one in the film? All of these questions become overwhelming and consuming- People that are addicted to pornography are not the only ones who suffer; their actions create a domino effect which equally affect those surrounded by them, due to the amount of emotion that surrounds the issue. The overall addiction of pornography leads to feelings of inadequacy between one or both partners. To me, this is a tremendously large issue. There are some individuals that view pornography, and know that it is wrong. They hide it from their parents, or their friends. It becomes their personal vice. Others often don't realize that the content that they view is as troubling as it is.
I interviewed a personal friend that gave me more insight on what her point of view on the topic is. The author of this story requested to be anonymous, so I will call her Amy. Amy started viewing pornography when she was fourteen years old. She recalled watching a movie at a friend's house and throughout the film, there were several sexual scenes. As innocent as she was, she found herself searching for similar material, without even thinking twice about what she was doing. Years passed, and she was about to graduate high school. She started dating a boy that was new to the area in her last semester of the school year. She knew that she liked him, but found that she couldn't seem to truly connect with him on an emotional level. She recalls talking to her sister about the situation one afternoon, and contemplating why she felt so distant from him when she knew very well that he cared so deeply for her. It wasn't because they were both going to different colleges next fall, it wasn't because she loved someone else- it was because she psychologically could not. Amy had begun to notice this trend in other areas of her life as well- she found that she began to lack empathy where it should be. Her sister even explained to her that she felt that she was acting distant to her too, almost like a melancholy film had covered her eyes and her overall ability to love anyone at all. She decided to see a counselor who was able to get to the root of her issue; her pornography use. She thought it would be easy to quit now that she knew why she was so emotionally disconnected, but it was much harder than she thought. She felt disappointed in herself for breaking down relationships that were once so strong in the past, and she was ultimately ashamed that she brought the feelings on herself, accident or not. It took years for Amy to feel like she was worthy of being loved, cherished, or valuable. She is now a huge advocate against pornography, and even was a crucial part in forming the foundation "Fight the new Drug." Amy's story really opened up my mind to the innocence of this issue, and the fact that even the most naïve of people can get addicted to such erotic material.
Though we know that a pornography addiction is a habit that is hard to break, there are actual psychological reasons as to why this "drug" is so hard to shake. Author, Dr. William Struthers explains that causes of this addiction are in relation to the human sex drive, and the psychological needs for arousal and gratification. Psychologically, people feel bad, unworthy, unlovable, and they feel that no one single individual will fulfill their sexual needs like pornography does. People that are addicted to pornography feel that the pleasure they get from their addiction is the most important thing in their life; it is their number one priority. Dr. Struthers notes risk factors of the addiction which include: maladaptive patterns of porn consumption, poor emotional attachment styles, and overall use of the addiction as a "release" or "getaway." Professors at Utah State University investigate how the overall use pornography actually affects the quality of a person's life. In general, the authors explain that the addiction is so consuming and compulsive, that it affects how individuals even carry out day to day tasks and routines. Through understanding that the addiction of pornography is the overall inability to control the urges to watch sexual material, professors were able to determine that the addiction is an overall "experience" that effects addict's quality of life in which they decided to conduct a study to see if addicts could overcome it over time. The professors who carried out these sessions informed readers that pornographic addiction is in fact a mental disorder since the urges are so psychologically enthralling, and hard to control. With this psychological delay- men more often than women have often displayed the inability to feel the sexual tension that they had in the past due to their use. One man even explained that his addiction was ruining his marriage, not only because his wife was ashamed of what he had viewed (though she did feel jealous and slightly neglected,) but because the man couldn't accept that one woman could love him enough to want to forgive him for the content he saw for so long. It was almost impossible for him to connect that his feelings towards his very own wife were in fact real.
Some people can overcome this addiction with counseling and support, but others can get so addicted and consumed in the material, that their own sexual behaviors tend to develop into one of a violent nature. There used to be different varieties of pornography ranging from soft porn, to hard porn. On the low end of the scale, the audience is left to imagine what might happen next, and only some nudity is shown. On the high end of the scale, there isn't any sort of filter, full nudity, and often violent behavior is displayed. People exposed to extensive amounts of "hard core" pornographic content, have neurologically altered their brains to lessen their ability to "bond" properly with others. In the article: Pornography addiction: A neuroscience perspective. Authors Hilton and Watts explain:
"A significant postulate of this commentary is that all addictions create, in addition to chemical changes in the brain, anatomical and pathological changes which result in various manifestations of cerebral dysfunction collectively labeled hypofrontal syndromes. In these syndromes, the underlying defect, reduced to its simplest description, is damage to the "braking system" of the brain. They are well known to clinical neuroscientists, especially neurologists and neurosurgeons, for they are also seen with tumors, strokes, and trauma."
Doctors Hilton and Watts identify excess use of pornography as hypersexual disorder. They paint their readers a picture by emphasizing that in 2006, pornography revenue was almost 100 billion dollars, (97 billion to be exact.) Surpassing massive companies like Yahoo, Google, Apple, Amazon etc. Meaning the "sex industry" is EXPONENTIALLY prominent in today's world. The article notes an astounding 85% of people that viewed pornography as children and into adulthood demonstrated issues with participating in actual sexual relations due to their addiction and neurological inability to bond with actual people. Often times, the pornography that people have viewed for so long becomes a sexual standard for them- partners that can't meet the standards of what they have seen or what their expectations are, eliminates their ability to connect physically and emotionally.
In the early 1950's filmmakers would show a couple's bedroom with two separate twin beds in it, as to not insinuate that they were actually going to sleep together that night. Back then, sex was not something that was willingly displayed for the entire world to know. Families (religious or not) more often than not believed that children should not be born out of wedlock. So what went so wrong? When did portraying sexual material on television become okay? It was the 1970's when TV media wanted to bring more "adult like" content to network television. Journalist Hal boyd explains that more than seventy five percent of prime-time programs contain sexual content, and that the number of sex scenes on TV has nearly doubled from 1998 to 2005. Though there once were standards of "delaying" programs with sexual content in them until after 10pm (in hopes that children were asleep therefore they wouldn't be at risk to be exposed to such media) but in today's world, it seems that there aren't any regulations at all. It is almost impossible to avoid sexual content on TV or in movies, and I am a grown adult that has the opportunity and ability to filter the content as I please. But what about those who do need the separation? How can we regulate between minimal sexual behavior and hard-core pornography is ever so casually slipped into a thirty second clip of the newest hottest movie in the boxoffice?
Extended pornography consumption over a long period of time can potentially lead to negative attitudes/violence towards women. Through the explicit content of much erotic material, the rough sexual content that viewers see is extremely violent. Prolonged exposure to said "sex scenes" causes many males to feel that aggressive sex is also violent. Author Alan Mckee highlights many different demographic variables that are attributed to the connection between pornography and violence towards women. In terms of demographic variables, there are a variety of different reasons why pornography use can lead to violence towards women. Often times, men that view this material few the women in them as objects. Men in the content are often very controlling and dominant throughout their films, which then translates into their aggression towards women in real life. They are used to seeing these interactions, and feel that such dominance is okay in real life too. Psychologically, they cannot separate their fantasy from fiction.
It is altered psychological processes that play a very large part on an addict's ability to participate in relationships of any kind. Through extended exposure to this "sexual drug" addicts find it hard to connect the feelings they get when aroused through viewing pornography to actual feelings of love, lust, or overall satisfaction with an actual human being. People can struggle with this for various reasons: they do not feel that they are "good enough" to be with someone that loves them and wants to be with them due to the content that they have viewed. People can struggle with boding with others and forming relationships because they cannot simply "turn it on or off" like they can when they view pornographic content. Lastly, It is hard for addicts to psychologically understand that what they have viewed for so long is often times far from reality, the ability for individuals to correlate fact from fantasy is often impossible due to the erotic images and content they have subjected themselves to for so long. The addiction of pornography is not simple, it is very complex. People that suffer from this disease are at its beacon call.
Something needs to change. We need to feel like we can sit down and watch a television show with our family and friends without feeling like we are on the edge of our seats in preparation to skip the next sex scene that appears on the screen. We need to make our children aware of this dangerous drug, and its ability to psychologically alter one's ability to form new relationships and how to equally strengthen the ones we currently have. A pornographic addiction is not something that is easy to overcome, but it is not impossible. With the right help and support, it can be overcome.
