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Princess Mononoke and Shintoism Paper ( thesis feedback)



darkdiva65 1 / 1  
Dec 13, 2010   #1
Hi, I'd like some input on this thesis statement for my research paper on Princess Mononoke and Shintoism. Thanks in advance.

Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke reflects many aspects of Shintoism, including the 'Four Affirmations of Shinto': importance of the Kami, respect for nature, the concept of purity, and the importance of family and traditions; while also containing references which will help the viewer better visualize past and present Shinto concepts, history, and historical conflicts.

Paper Instructions:
3,000 to 3,600 words in the body of the paper (appx. 10-12 pages). Write word count at end of document.
Citation system: your choice, but Chicago or Harvard preferred. Be consistent and correct.
Proper in-text citations, footnotes or endnotes.
Bibliography.
Page numbers, your name in header on each page.
Cover page or first page header with the following information: your name, course, date, instructor, title of paper.

EF_Kevin 8 / 13053  
Dec 23, 2010   #2
In a sentence like that one, it should be a dash instead of a semi-colon. If the text on each side of the semi-colon could be a complete sentence on its own, then a semi-colon is alright, but in this case it should be a dash because the text on the right could not be a complete sentence on its own.

But that is just stupid grammar stuff. The more important point is this: your thesis statement should be interesting. This is how to make it interesting:

Miyazaki's Princess Mononoke reflects many aspects of Shintoism that support the argument that Shintoism is the most interesting religion in recorded human history.

I don't mean you should write that; I just wanted to give an example.
The reason that thesis is interesting is because it is "arguable."
Google this: arguable thesis

:-)


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