Writing a thesis statement and an outline about soil erosion

Hello,

I am writing an expository essay for English for academic purposes about soil erosion and I must begin with a thesis statement and an outline. Please review and say whether I am on the right track, thanks.

Thesis Statement:
Soil erosion is a slow process, which continues to persist in the Caribbean because of the different agents such as, water, wind and tillage.

Topic: Water

Topic sentence
First, in the Caribbean, soil erosion by water is due to direct and indirect factors that detaches and transports vulnerable soil.

Topic: Wind

Topic sentence
Secondly, soil erosion by wind in the Caribbean occurs, because of various aspects that enable very fine particles to be lifted and moved great distances.

Topic: Tillage

Topic sentence
Lastly, soil erosion by tillage creates poor agricultural soil for crop production because of exposed and eroded subsoil.

Well, yes, this is a great approach. Many essayists achieve great structure by listing several things in the thesis statement and then writing a paragraph about each. This will have EXCELLENT structure.

However, it is just informative, and it does not contribute any new idea. If you want to make it even better, go a step further and make a unique observation about a way to understand the situation.

Your perspective, + the info = a unique main idea for the essay.

Express that unique idea in the thesis and also in the conclusion.

:-)

thank you for your great insight, i needed it

dear pumpkyn :)

I think the moderator has explained it in the best way... i appreciate the way moderator answered this :)