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"I'm afraid to fail", essay about myself



azwi 1 / -  
Apr 5, 2010   #1
ME, MYSELF and MY FUTURE

I have heard people saying that the strongest support system in the whole world is family. For me this actually holds true. My family has sacrificed a lot for eighteen years to bring me to a place where I now stand. Throughout these years, my family especially my parents have always stood by me as I tried to find a forte in life. I have three sisters and a younger brother who made growing up interesting and full of fun. I live in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan. It is a small, developing town with a commitment to education; this environment and the fact that I belong to a stable family have helped me in cultivating my passion for learning.

As an eighteen year old girl, I find that life for me has been a process of continuous evolution. The values and morals imbibed in me by my parents and mentors alike have contributed to my development physical and intellectual. This is evident by my curricular and co-curricular records which have always been excellent. Even though we moved alot and I had to change various schools - which would be hard on any student - I managed to score 5A's in Ujian Penilaian Sekolah Rendah, 9 A's in Penilaian Menengah Rendah, 11 A's in Sijil Penilaian Menengah. I am not ashamed to admit that I am afraid of failure. When I was in fourth grade, I hated Biology because I failed my mid-term examination. This trepidation of failure made me a strong person in a way that I started to pay extra attention to the course of Biology and as a result scored a B+ (Specify the grade... I am guessing you scored a B+) in my final examination. It was this moment in my life that I finally began to appreciate Biology for what it really was: The rhythmic beat of a heart; Blossoming of a flower; Capturing of an image by the eye - "Life" was Biology. I started spending time to learn more about the subject and my pursuits led me a detailed study of a human body: How a body is made of systems that are made up of a few organs that are made up of tissues which result from a systematic arrangement of cells. I knew I had found my perfect ambition. I wanted to be a Doctor.

In addition to this, I have always been active in co-curricular activities. An example of this is the recent National service at Kem PLKN Warisan Masjid Tanah that I took part in. I also took part in a National Chemistry Quiz for which I got Merit. Also, I presented my school in Boarding School Hockey Tournament. Furthermore, I was vice president for the Basketball Club at my school.

Another important aspect of my personality is that I am an avid reader and follower of cartoons. The reason for this is that I strongly believe in creativity through imagination and creative novels like Harry Potter pique my imagination. Reading paves ways for newer lines of thinking which I try to apply in real life like planning experiments and solving problems. At times to tend to overdo it but this further helps in brushing up my creative thinking skills not forgetting to mention the extra credit that I get from my teachers.

I made a resolution to spend some time, every day, learning something new about biology. I pave my own path and flow of my future education. I plan to pursue my studies as an undergraduate medical student in Ireland. I must attend one year foundation at selected local institute. I have been doing some research on universities and I found my own target university. Royal College of Surgeon offers one of the best undergraduate medical courses in the world and is also sponsored by Majlis Amanah Rakyat. After five years of studying medicine, I plan on specializing in cardiology I would like to go back to Malaysia and contribute to the progress of my beloved country such as identifying the scope of Malaysia Health care System and improve it to maximum standard.

My vision of future service as a doctor keeps me inspired and gives me the energy I need to succeed. Even though some people think it an unimaginative job, for my family it isn't so. My father and my elder sister are aircraft technicians and another of my sister is an aircraft engineer. So, coming from a family which thrives on imagination, challenges and innovations I of pursuing medicine is the perfect culmination of our world situation right now which are natural disasters and unexpected new diseases. Doctor and other medical authorities are needed more than ever to help nurse the world.

where do i suppose to merge the education part?
thanks a lot for the correction....
still a lot i need to learn...
i am so sorry, i try my best to improve it
i am not sure there still some mistakes... and i hope you can help me to find it

Vakax 2 / 41  
Apr 5, 2010   #2
Even though i did a little correction in your SoP, i am of the opinion that it lacks that IT factor that can make it stand out from the rest of the applications. Scholarship competitions are really tough and SoP is the single most important thing that tells you apart from the rest of the pile.

You want to be a doctor...Discuss some events from your life that made you interested in pursuing a degree in medicine...I like the imagination and creativity part...Try to link that with your experiences...

Dicussing about your hobbies is good but they should gel in with the overall essay and what you are answering. Right now its like four paragraphs of i did this and this and in the last paragraph almost as a final thought you decided you wanted to write...Oh, and yeah, i want to be a doctor. Whatever!

As a first draft though, it was fine...Keep working on it.

Best of luck
Vakax 2 / 41  
Apr 7, 2010   #3
buddy buddy buddy, I only gave headings to your individual essays so that you knew what you were to discuss in it. Headings are not required in this sort of essay. and the corrections for the education part that i suggested you should merge in with your second paragraph "about your school life"

No worries, relax.

You are getting there.


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