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Blackbird by the Beatles -- the work of music that inspired me. 250 word essay.



Frydafly 5 / 13  
Jan 3, 2010   #1
I would love any form of criticism! Content! Grammar! You name it!
Thank you.


Sometimes, we get a chance to live again-to scatter our past into the wind and return, ready to tackle new experiences. Sometimes, life is simply telling us to fly.

That was exactly how I felt the first time I heard this song. The previous year had been startling; I lost my closest friends and watched my mother struggle to keep her job, among other things. I was only fourteen, but was beginning to feel worn down. I wanted so much to peer out of the tight box I inhabited and feel new again. So, I climbed out and began to clean my room. Inside my player was an old Beatles cassette my dad had left behind. I thought, "why not?" and began to listen.

The first song was Blackbird. I almost thought I heard it address me directly: "Fryda, fly." Yes, it was time to begin again. I would start playing music for the first time in a year. I would once again spend quality time in the art I love most!

I learned to play Blackbird, possibly out of gratitude, but more likely to master its beautiful riff and sing it to myself. After all, it gave me the strength to not only face my world but embrace it enthusiastically. I played this song the first time I performed for a patient in the hospital; I continue to play it for every patient I visit. "Why not?" I tell myself; I am not the only Blackbird in nest.

bilodeau54 3 / 19  
Jan 3, 2010   #2
Couple of pointers

"among other things" VAGUE. I would just remove or put in a more specif bit here. "smaller social issues" or something.

thought I heard it address me directly: "Fryda, fly." I think you need another sentence here. I get you go for dramatic effect with the Yes, it was time bit but I would say how the music made you feel here. Can be quick but I think this paragraph would be much clearer.

my dad had left behind. I would add words to the end here to clarify "dad left behind" Way it reads now is like you are trying to over dramatic, but with specifics it really WOULD read as dramatic.

Opening and closing are ace!! ( plus its a great song)

If you get a chance to read my tufts one "let your life speek" i would appreciate it!


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