Chevening scholarship - the next step to be a leader in the field of clinical oncology

please check my essay and give me a feedback. Thanks a lot. ^^ God bless you all ^^

Q. Chevening is looking for individuals that will be future leaders or influences in their home countries. Explain how you meet this requirement, using clear examples of your own leadership and influencing skills to support your answer.

My life experience has tought me alot of important concepts, one of them is if you want to make a good difference in this life you must be a good leader who have mind power, good decision-making and organized style in arranging priorities and work on it to achieve whatever he seeking for. However, leadership is not about doing everything by you own, but it's about how you can influence and motivate people, and how you can direct and choose the right persons then put them in the right position to gain successful outcomes.

Hence, my first leadership experience came from being family leader when my dad left us.I told my mother that we must not stop at this point and help her in establishment of a small business project to maintain education for me and my little brother.

After high school graduation , i couldn't give up obtaining higher education. I always wished to be a professional doctor who help the largest number of people and make my family proud. Therefore, i started my bachelor's degree in pharmaceutical science and complete it with CGPA 3.15.

In my fourth year university education , i was not satisfied how society looking for pharmacists as they are just Sellers who do not have a vital role in public health and improving the quality of life.I decided that i must work to correct this concept by asking my colleagues either in my university or in the other universities all over Egypt to establish a team to advocate pharmacists rights and discuss their problems with officials to solve it.We made many meetings with officials, the most important one was the meeting with General Captain of pharmacists in Egypt who expressed his happiness and pride with us. He told us that he will make a number of conferences to discuss these problems and work on resolving it . After attending conferences which was attended by a number of doctors and pharmacists from various African countries, The General Captain issuing decisions that provide pharmacists with powers which enable them to perform their role in the medical field by the best way.

I am proud of what i did before and i wish to take the next step to be a leader in the field of clinical oncology through Chevening Scholarship.

Nice one but I think it is rather very short. You need to talk as if you are so important that you are holding a great position like in ministry of health. Also, the second paragraph is way too general and not to the point of their questions

Laila, this has a very nice personal story to tell. However, the age that you were at when your father left means that you were a mere child at that time and could not have possibly relayed the kind of analysis that your mother received from you. Reviewers will see this as an exaggeration on your part and have serious doubts about your ability to tell the straightforward truth in your essay. In all essays, be it collegiate applications or international scholarships like Chevening, the experiences that you relate need to be believable. Now, I am not saying that you are lying by what you said. What I am saying, is that the reviewers will want to hear more about your leadership skills than just a mere child telling her mother how to run the family. Nobody will believe that that you were that instrumental in the running of your family at that age.

Without that paragraph in your essay, there is nothing. The essay does not have any substance at all and cannot even respond to the most basic question provided using a believable, factual, and confirmable explanation on your part. The leadership evidence needs to be professional, not personal. Your qualifications to lead must be memorable and relevant to your application. In other words, this essay cannot be used for the purposes of the provided prompt. You have to start a new one. One that will accurately deliver a strong leadership personality on a professional level.

No i was in high school not a child
whatever, i can't understand what i should write in this essay ??
i read all similar essays here but no one similar to my life or my career

Laila, the minute you get frustrated and give up, then you have already lost your chance to win the scholarship. Just keep on writing the essay, no matter how many new essays it takes for you to get it right. I won't give up on helping you sort out your work if you will just add to your patience and work with me. This essay is not difficult to write. I can help you try to direct it towards the correct response.

You need either a professional or civic example of leadership and influencing in order to work on this essay properly. As an Oncologist, you have worked with a number of cancer patients right? They have looked to your leadership to help them find a cure that will heal them of their cancer. Your job as the lead doctor on the case is to lead the patient towards the right remedy for their tumor. Either through an operation, chemotherapy, or other experimental drugs. The fact that your patients ask you questions about the procedure and follow your instructions means you are a leader in the examination room and in the operating room. When your patient is afraid about an exploratory operation and yet you manage to influence them to be confident and trust that the system can heal them, makes you an influential person. That is the point of view that you should be writing this essay from. That is where your strength lies. Write about your professional life and its relation to your leadership skills and influencing abilities.

@Holt
i'm fresh graduate, so i don't have any experience with this type of patients, understanding ?
i understood from essays i saw here that i must write about realistic experience ,, it's my first experience with scholarship and i feel lost

Laila, how about when you were doing your internship? Have you completed your residency? Didn't you have to deal with patients during your rounds? As far as I know, the teaching hospitals allow you to handle some simple cases when you are on duty. Perhaps there was a time when you had to lead a patient during an examination or allayed their fears while undergoing an emergency procedure or examination? Consider your experiences at the teaching hospital and try to see if you have any experience that can display the necessary character traits of the prompt. If you can't come up with something along those lines during your training, then consider your membership to school or civic organizations. Perhaps there is something we can use within that field of yours?

@Holt

when i was young i was asked the question that all child should be asked , what you want to be in the future ?
i took some time to think what i want to be in the future and why ?

There have always been two people Dr Magdy Yacoub and Dr Ahmed Zweil who were and still and will remain for rest of my life my ideals who make me and anyone in Egypt proud to be rendered from the same country they are from. I really wish to become like them one day.

they learned and did all their best not to gain the fame, authority or any selfish purpose but they always want to be a useful persons to their country and all humankind. when they did this they deserved to be a real leaders who influence and motivate anyone to do all his best and working hard to be like them.

During my internship in hospital , i met a patient who complained from some symptoms like pain in the upper-right side of the abdomen,fatigue and loss of appetite.

the supervising doctor rapidly diagnosed the case as general weakness and malnutrition. when i asked the doctor why he didn't ask the patient to make some medical tests to ensure the diagnosis, he answered me that their are a lot of patients and the time will be not enough to do tests to everyone. i felt bad and followed the patient to ask him to make CBC and UA.

After two days the patient came to the hospitals with results of the tests and we found that he had a virus C, i helped him by introducing him to good gastroenterologist i know him. The patient began to take medication and his case was being improved by the time.

After this situation i realized that being a doctor does not mean that you can be a leader like Dr Magdy Yacoub and Dr Ahmed Zweil, but you need to have the sense of responsibility to be a real leader.

Hence, i decided to follow their steps and do all my best to learn and help anyone who need my help to be in some day someone who inspire others to make a good difference in this world.

I hope that the Chevening scholarship give me a chance to learn and meet more real leaders inspiring me to achieve my goals.
i don't think this will be a leadership evidence ... all my experiances in my life like this ...

i don't have much to do for anyone ,i'm just help a little as i can so i want to get this scholarship to be able doing something good .. i really feel lost ...

I am sorry but you cannot use this essay for the leadership prompt. You are not supposed to discuss people who inspired you to become a doctor or become a leader. You have to discuss YOUR leadership experience. Be it in a formal or informal setting. You can use your civic duties as an example of leadership and influencing if you cannot offer anything in terms of professional experience. Chevening is a highly competitive scholarship grant that cannot be won or competed in by people who cannot embody the Chevening criteria. I do not know how else I can help you. You are the one who has to provide an example of leadership and influencing abilities on your end. Please, try to think long and hard about this. You have to come up with some sort of situation where you portrayed a leadership role. If you can't then you should not try to apply for a scholarship in this cycle. Try to develop your credentials in relation to the prompt requirements that you now know about and then apply for the scholarship in the next cycle. That is the most help and advice I can give you now.