Chevening Essay, study in UK plan; I aspire to work as a lecturer of human rights lawyer

Dear Friends,

Please leave your comments on my essay.

my plans for further study

As, I aspire to work as a lecturer of human rights law and as a human rights advocator; it is necessary to obtain master and PhD degrees in this field. To that end, I have chosen three UK universities that offer the best master degrees of human rights law. Their modules are directly linked to the back ground knowledge and professional experience of mine. And, what they teach can help me stand out in my future careers.

Over the past two years, I worked with Fazl Law Firm on gender based violence cases. However, I have a humanitarian job at Norwegian Refugee Council (NRC) right now, and, work as a lecturer of human rights law at Eshraq University. Working in the aforementioned institutions persuaded me to obtain a master degree of human rights law. Since, Nottingham University offers an outstanding master degree -in which human rights law is taught in the contexts of society, economics and criminal justice- I have chosen it as my first choice. This course will allow me to accumulate advanced knowledge of human rights law and develop humanitarian leadership skills to stand out in my humanitarian activities.

Sheffield University also offers an astonishing master degree that focuses on human rights' critical challenges in today's theory, policy and practice. I also believe that the knowledge and skills I accumulate from this course will empower me to become an outstanding lecturer and human rights activist. As said before, I work with one of the most popular international humanitarian organizations (NRC). Also, I had two years' membership of the American Society of International Law having access to and utilizing the most recent researches about human rights law. Moreover, I have published four research papers in this field, and, have conducted a field research sponsored by War Child UK. I believe that my academic and professional capabilities will enable me stand out among the students of Sheffield University.

The third preference of mine is the master of human rights law offered by Sunderland University. The course offers human rights studies focused on terrorism, criminal justice and human rights, with an outstanding course of legal research. In 2015, I had a chance to participate in Jessup International Moot Court in the U.S.A. During five months of research for this competition, I studied a vast number of books and case studies about terrorism, human rights, fair trial and detention. Luckily we won the championship of the national competitions and participated in international rounds. As I am a lecturer of human rights law, research and writing are two main tasks of mine. There is a center of terrorism studies in Afghanistan that translates and publishes researches in this regard. I believe that this course can help me stand out as a researcher and a lecturer of human rights.

Sebghatullah, do not include the university discussion in the second paragraph. You need to make each university discussion stand alone in a separate paragraph in order to call the attention of the reviewer to the university discussion. More importantly, it will allow you to elaborate on the university choice based upon your past experience, current learning requirements, and how it may relate to your future career plans in terms of training. There is a reason as to why you chose the same course at every university. This normally has to do with where you see your career headed in the future or its applicability to current problems in your line of work that you hope to resolve. Summarize that information as part of the discussion as to why you chose to study these courses at these UK universities.

You have a tendency to deviate from the prompt requirements in your paragraphs because you change the focus of the discussion from the reason you chose the university to trivial matters such as your being published in 4 research papers, Your members in the American Society of International Law, and your participation in the Jessup International Moot Court. All of which do not carry a direct relation to the chosen course. If there is a relationship, then you have not made it clear so you will need to revise your presentation to make sure that this comes across as relevant experience rather than just you trying to show off unnecessary credentials. In particular, the Jessup information seems to only want to brag about the fact that you won the competition. I don't see how it applies at all. Then you suddenly speak of a center for terrorism studies without relating how that connects to your studies in this particular course at the university. You need to clarify the reasons why you qualify for these lines of study because right now, I do not get a clear picture of your professional foundation as it applies to your chosen university masters degree courses. Basically, the content of your essay is good but disorganized, you need to reformat the content of the paper in order for it to be clearer to the reader and also, give you a better chance at justifying your university and course choices.

@Holt

Dear Holt,

Could you please give a structure of each paragraph and/essay?

Thanks in advance

@heratjalali
Dear,

Reading through your essay I couldn't understand what influenced your choice of the various universities you picked out. It could be their model of teaching your preferred course, the outstanding performance of their alumni in your field and so on it sure would be nice if you can find any. Take notice of this repetition because I think its a waste of space "As said before, I work with one of the most popular international humanitarian organizations (NRC)", as this has already been stated earlier, no need to repeat it.

Your choice of university, the order of preference and course should be on different paragraphs and as clear as possible. Explain why you choose the university and the course and carefully relate all these to your past professional experience.