I've chosen to study B.A (English Language and Linguistics) to become an English teacher in Myanmar

[Task]
In an essay of up to 200 words,

describe your plan of study and/ or research you propose to pursue and relate this to your future career plan.

I have chosen to study B.A (English Language and Linguistics) in Universiti Brunei Darussalam because it provides me the skills I require to become an English teacher which my country, Myanmar, desperately needs. If I get to study this course in your country with the scholarship, it will not only aid me in fulfilling my destiny as an English teacher but also help countless children who need me when I become an English teacher.

After obtaining the opportunity to study the course I requested in your university with the scholarship, I will take all the necessary subjects and study hard. After I have graduated from your university with the degree, I will try to get a teaching license in my country and start working on becoming an English teacher. This course will aid me a lot in my career. Since I am learning the English Language, I will be able to know and teach my future students grammar and creative writing effectively. I will also be able to understand English phonetics and the language's history because I am learning English Linguistics.

My dream job is an English teacher because teaching children is something I enjoy a few years ago and become dedicated to it. Furthermore, English is a subject I enjoy learning ever since I was a child. Therefore, I dream of becoming an English teacher.

( Myself, my feelings and more)
This section is not part of the assay, but I write it because I think that it will help you with checking my essay.

I am an undergraduate from Myanmar who has never tried to get a scholarship up until now. Recently, I found a fully funded scholarship from Brunei whose criteria I met and programme I am interested. I got Band 7 in my IELTS ( I don't really shine in writing and speaking, getting only 6 for both, but I got 8 and 7 in listening and reading respectively). My ambitions are true, I want to become an English teacher because I like English and teaching, and I pity the students of Myanmar for not only they have to study a horrible education system but also they cannot keep up with their studies because they are weak in English, especially those living in villages. Because of them and my interests, I want to bacome an English teacher. But staying in my own country can make my skills dull because there is very little interactions in English. When I was younger, I used to speak English like it was my native language because I used to study abroad. But now, I have to think what I want to say, and sometimes it is not even correct (and I am very disappointed with myself for that). Therefore, I wish to study abroad with a scholarship while pursuing my dreams. So, please point out every mistake I made whether grammatical, word choice, sentence, etc. ( You can also point out the ones inthis section) Thank you very much for your time and patience. Like what the essay said, you will be helping me as well as all the children of Myanmar if you check this essay.

( Question, Although the rules said I have to write up to 200 words, I wrote 226 words. Is this Ok or should I lose some words?)

Hello. I think your essay lack proper plan of what you intend to do in your study. First, do research on the department you're aiming for. Is there any specific courses you want to take? Any professor you're especially keen to work with? For example, you mentioned creative writing, so maybe you'd want to explain how are you going to enhance your skill of writing in this university. Try to include any past experience that is relevant or any expertise that will help you excel in your studies.

After obtaining the opportunity to study... I will take all the necessary subjects and study hard.
There is no need to mention this, of course the selection committee will expect you to study hard.

After graduating, I intend to obtain a teaching license...

This course will aid me...
My dream job is an English teacher...
It's a repetition from the last sentence in first paragraph. Consider omit it.

I think your last paragraph isn't very relevant and doesn't support or answer the question. It's a plan of your study, so carefully consider what you think you will get from the degree and how it may help you academically. Yes, the children needs you, but this is not the correct place to say that, and instead, focus on how you're the right candidate for the programme by showing you have done your research and knowing exactly what you want to pursue.

Also, yes. Write only up to 200 words. The rule exists for a reason.

Your essay does not respond to the question posed at all. You totally disregarded the requirements of the essay and wrote only what you wanted to tell the reviewer, which indicates that you do not have a good grasp of the English language even though you claim to do so. This essay is asking for the reason why you want to study this course at this university. Think back to your college thesis. Then ask yourself, how can I further improve on that research? What contribution will it make to my career? Write an essay that will connect the two. You are being asked about what your master thesis might potentially be and how that will help you improve your career opportunities in the future. What you wrote does not even come close to explaining the focal point of this discussion. Think about where your career is at at the moment (present time) and then consider how these studies and your potential research can help you become a better professional in the future. That is the career goal aspect of the presentation.

Additionally, it is not OK for you to write more than the maximum word count. If you are submitting this essay as part of an online application, the system could cut your essay at the 200 word mark. If the system runs on a timer, you won't have enough time to revise the essay to suit the word requirement. If you submit a paper application, the reviewer will realize that you wrote more than the word count, which means, again, that you cannot understand nor follow English instructions. Do only as instructed or risk getting rejected from the consideration process.