College Scholarship Application - What are your career goals and how did you develop them?

I need help on improving, expanding or rewording this paragraph on my career goals and how I developed them.

"My primary goal is to pursue a career in the medical field as a general physician. Growing up, I have always enjoyed helping others when in need; I would be told that I provided a positive impact towards their life when doing so. This fueled me with the desire to assist others, whether minor or major. "

There is a maximum of 400 characters, and I have 96 characters remaining. Thanks!

Hello Anytimer,

Usually, when I write an essay on goals, I try to include a story about why I want to pursue this goal. It is great that you want to be in the medical field. "Growing up, I have always enjoyed helping others when in need; I would be told that I provided a positive impact towards their life when doing so." Try adding a story of a positive impact or when you were helping others in need. This gives the reader the fuel that you feel when assisting others.

Hope this helps,
Andrea

I think this is a great idea; however, how would you suggest incorporating a short story in such a small character limit? Should I just briefly mention a short event of me helping someone? Thanks!

- Jason