How can I make my essay more convincing and strong...Please help me strengthen my essay.
The first time I ever recognized my academic talents among the competitive students of the valley was the moment when I came across an entrance examination after I passed my SLC. Inspite of my high SLC scores, I had never boasted of my marks. What I felt was marks don't matter if you have creativity and talents. If you obtain low scores but yet can show the master skills in what you do, you are never considered an average. The entrance was not as easy as the terminal exams and was all about exploring your out knowledge and your critical thinking abilities.
When I was notified that I had gone through the examination and more than that I was the topper of the exam, I was very glad. It was then that I felt much about my studies. I was awarded with the full fee waiver for 2 years which could have account to $2500. The very amount could have been a hardship to my father to pay off. Infact it was a an economic supplement for my father's income. Since then, I started studying sincerely. On the one hand I gave time to my studies and on the other hand to assist the family's finances I started giving tutions to lower socondary students. I am always interested in learning something new and understanding a little bit more of the world. My interest in science led me to success in various academic and non academic competions. As the time passed by, I discovered that making changes and creating something new was where I wanted to be. In the area of leadership, I have worked 3 years an a class representative and have most of the times leaded my team in number of quiz contests and science exhibitions. I have volunteered various campaigns being an enthusiastic member of School Red Cross member. Being ranked a number two in my institution, I tutor my friends with difficulties in many subject areas.
Consistent with my belief in practice, though not always the winner I never give up to participate in any kinds of programs and contests. My closed eyes always dream of perfection and my open eyes are striving for the excellence. Thanks to my dedication to science, I have discovered a sense of being nearer to my achievement. Moreover, I have also found over past few years to cultivate skills and interests in the related fields. However, due to my family's income which is way less than the educational expenses at the US universities, I sometimes get distracted from my goal which I need to achieve.
Thus, looking at the lack of finances but sound academic and extracurricular background, I consider myself a good candidate for the Opportunity Funding Pragram. This program would definitely help me to pursue my career in the field of science and engineering.
Thanks in advance
The first time I ever recognized my academic talents among the competitive students of the valley was the moment when I came across an entrance examination after I passed my SLC. Inspite of my high SLC scores, I had never boasted of my marks. What I felt was marks don't matter if you have creativity and talents. If you obtain low scores but yet can show the master skills in what you do, you are never considered an average. The entrance was not as easy as the terminal exams and was all about exploring your out knowledge and your critical thinking abilities.
When I was notified that I had gone through the examination and more than that I was the topper of the exam, I was very glad. It was then that I felt much about my studies. I was awarded with the full fee waiver for 2 years which could have account to $2500. The very amount could have been a hardship to my father to pay off. Infact it was a an economic supplement for my father's income. Since then, I started studying sincerely. On the one hand I gave time to my studies and on the other hand to assist the family's finances I started giving tutions to lower socondary students. I am always interested in learning something new and understanding a little bit more of the world. My interest in science led me to success in various academic and non academic competions. As the time passed by, I discovered that making changes and creating something new was where I wanted to be. In the area of leadership, I have worked 3 years an a class representative and have most of the times leaded my team in number of quiz contests and science exhibitions. I have volunteered various campaigns being an enthusiastic member of School Red Cross member. Being ranked a number two in my institution, I tutor my friends with difficulties in many subject areas.
Consistent with my belief in practice, though not always the winner I never give up to participate in any kinds of programs and contests. My closed eyes always dream of perfection and my open eyes are striving for the excellence. Thanks to my dedication to science, I have discovered a sense of being nearer to my achievement. Moreover, I have also found over past few years to cultivate skills and interests in the related fields. However, due to my family's income which is way less than the educational expenses at the US universities, I sometimes get distracted from my goal which I need to achieve.
Thus, looking at the lack of finances but sound academic and extracurricular background, I consider myself a good candidate for the Opportunity Funding Pragram. This program would definitely help me to pursue my career in the field of science and engineering.
Thanks in advance
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