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Contribution in solving a challenge, implementing change or reform



kikiliyik 12 / 34  
Jun 30, 2014   #1
hy guys, please check my scholarship essay. I really need your advice..thank you

(BE SPECIFIC AND INCLUDE: WHAT ASPECT OF YOUR LEADERSHIP KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS AND PRACTICE YOU CONSIDER TO BE WELL ESTABLISHED AND EFFECTIVE; WHICH PEOPLE OR ORGANISATION YOU WORKED WITH TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM; AND WHAT CREATIVE METHODS WERE USED)

I was the founder and leader in xx Engineering Association student in XX University. This association is similar with study club for xx Engineering Student, xx University. This study club was found to break a rigidity research improvement in xx Engineering Association

Bassically, I and my friends had high expectation to do more for our department by this study club. This study Club had responsibility to help every single student that want to join competition in regional or national area. Also, this study club must helped student to understand some difficult assignments. Blessing in Disguise, at the start of this community was found, most all student in xx Engineering was pessimist that this community would work as its function. no body was interested to involve in starting first research.

Based on that condition, I started my programs with doing research by myself in designing area for village improvement in Engineer national company. This research followed by microhydro research conducted by my friends.Each of us use our research to start the community program and involving national competition

Fortunately, our research was one of the big five research. This competition result helped us to get the trust from students in xx Engineering Department. Some lecturers and student agree to run this program until now.

Our community has conducted 4 research and won 3 competitions from 2009 until 2010. in a year we co-operated with alumni in improving research for some competitions and study methods for students. In the last 2010 I resigned, the community kept ran by new students.

Nece 2 / 4  
Jul 8, 2014   #2
(BE SPECIFIC AND INCLUDE: WHAT ASPECT OF YOUR LEADERSHIP KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS AND PRACTICE YOU CONSIDER TO BE WELL ESTABLISHED AND EFFECTIVE; WHICH PEOPLE OR ORGANISATION YOU WORKED WITH TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM; AND WHAT CREATIVE METHODS WERE USED)
SHanafi 120 / 357  
Jul 19, 2014   #3
Hey kikiliyik, you come from Indonesia?
Let me try to help you

Perhaps this quite reflects what you want to say

Bassically, I and my friends had high expectation to do more for our department by this study club

The main proposed of the club establishment was to give academic contribution to the faculty improvement in terms of student research.

This study Club had responsibility to help every single student that want to join competition in regional or national area

Practically, the club activity was addressed to assist every eligible student in joining engineering competition in regional or national area. Another club purpose was to give intensive assistance for engineering in complete their assignment.

Blessing in Disguise

I am afraid that such idiom is not appropriate with your essay especially in academic using
here I got an example from internet
Tony's motorcycle accident was a blessing in disguise, because he got enough insurance money from the other driver to make a down payment on a house.

at the start

in the beginning

no body

.Each of us

. in a year

please re-check about capitalization and punctuation usage

It is better that you improve the clarity of your essay. Besides, I suggest you to read as many authentic English text to make your essay more natural.


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