Describe SDG#10: Reduced Inequalities against the context of your home country. (Swedish Institute)

disparities in turkey

(Max. 600 characters incl. spaces)

Turkey has inequalities in crucial policy areas such as employment, education, income distribution, poverty and health care. Especially inequalities in employment directly affect other social inequalities. I have many friends who are currently unemployed in Turkey which is the 3rd highest rate in the list of unemployment rate by tertiary education level among OECD countries. In addition, people who can find a job work very long hours for low salaries since there are inequalities in average working hours and salaries. All of them prevent contribution of youth for social transformation.

Ege, what is the actual prompt you are responding to? I am not sure about how to assess your writing because I do not know what the university wishes you to portray in your response statement. From an uninformed point of view, it would appear that this is a very strong and informative essay. It shows degrees of inequality in your country and how it affects a particular sector of your society. However, I am not certain as to the applicability of this statement in relation to the actual prompt. I wish you had provided the prompt when you posted your response. The title doesn't really inform me about what the requirements for your response are. Overall though, this seems to be a well developed response to a particular prompt. If it is responding accurately to the prompt from the Swedish Institute, that I cannot be sure of. Please remember that you have to post the complete original prompt along with your response the next time you post an essay in order to gain a more insightful review of your response.

@Holt
Hi Holt. First of all thank you for your feedback.Sorry for the forgot writing actual prompt. I am a newcomer. This is one of the question for Swedish-Turkish Scholarship Programme for master's studies. The question actually is "Choose one of the Sustainable Development Goals(SDGs) prioritized within the scholarship programme and describe it against the context of your home country.(Max. 600 characters incl. spaces)". I prefered to write about SDG# Reduced Inequalities. Do you have a chance to review?

Ege, since you have a highly limited character count, you should not try to present too much inequalities in this statement. Since you have personal knowledge and/or experience regarding employment / unemployment, you should explain how unemployment in your country can be reduced in the context of the Sustainable Development Goal of the scholarship program. Describe how you see the solution to this problem based upon the course you will be studying then relate how this will help improve the economy of your country in a sustainable manner. You will need to revise your response in order to deliver the appropriate response. Just remember, the statement is not about the number of goals you can represent but rather, which goals you can successfully relate to the goals of the scholarship. In the previous statement, you listed a number of goals, but could only expand upon one discussion. Therefore, that is the goal you should focus on in the new response.