Could someone read over this and let me know what they think about the flow and organization of the essay. Also, if any grammatical errors stand out, please let me know! I've been writing for awhile and brain is fatigued-haha.
The essay is a cover letter for an NIH internship and they are looking for:
Conveying and interest in a science, technology, engineering or math career/education. Also, what life and/or education experiences lead you to your interests.
Thank you in advance!
I am applying for the 2012 NIH CCSEP. CCSEP was introduced to me at the NIH Community College Day 2011 and I knew during the keynote speech by Dr. x that I would apply. My decision to apply was further solidified after talking to Dr. y and Dr. z during the networking luncheon. I am currently a student at Anne Arundel Community College and am going to transfer to the University of Alaska: Anchorage (UAA) to finish a dual-degree in biochemistry and political science. After graduation I hope to attend medical school, and then provide medical care to Alaska Native tribal villages while working with Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium to advance the quality of care they receive through research and advocacy.
My interest in medicine began during my time as a member of the United States Air Force (USAF). In the USAF I was a dental laboratory technician working at Elmendorf Air Force Base hospital in Alaska. I worked in a dental clinic, but volunteered throughout the hospital to interact with doctors from varying specialties and increase my exposure to varying types of patients. When given the opportunity to participate in Operation Arctic Care, a joint military program providing care to remote Alaska Native villages; I discovered my passion for medicine. The experience allowed me the privilege to help take care of patients who ordinarily do not receive adequate medical care; it is my most rewarding volunteer experience to date and influenced me to leave the USAF to focus on school and pursue my passion.
Since leaving the USAF, I not only do school full-time, but volunteer often, work as tutor and supplemental instruction leader, and spend what little time is leftover with my wife and daughter. Although the schedule is stressful at times, it is my eagerness to learn the sciences and drive to achieve my goals that keeps me energetic along with the support of my family. Additionally, I've learned to utilize effective time-management strategies to succeed in all areas and achieve balance.
Another volunteer experience was of particular importance to me involved going to McKinley Technology High School in Washington D.C. with the American Chemical Society. We demonstrated chemistry experiments and talked to the students about pursuing STEM careers and the importance of school. It was important for me, because I grew up in an abusive environment and actually dropped out of high-school to leave the environment and start over. Determined to overcome my setbacks, I went on to earn my GED and enrolled in a program to turn that into a high school diploma then joined the USAF. I truly enjoyed conveying the importance of school via my own experiences to motivate students.
If selected for CCSEP, I believe my enthusiasm for medicine and science, eagerness to learn about the research process, determination to overcome challenges and flexibility would make me a great fit for the program. Furthermore, the program will increase my confidence and skills to succeed on my future undergraduate research project at UAA and build a foundation of knowledge that will help in my future career.
The essay is a cover letter for an NIH internship and they are looking for:
Conveying and interest in a science, technology, engineering or math career/education. Also, what life and/or education experiences lead you to your interests.
Thank you in advance!
I am applying for the 2012 NIH CCSEP. CCSEP was introduced to me at the NIH Community College Day 2011 and I knew during the keynote speech by Dr. x that I would apply. My decision to apply was further solidified after talking to Dr. y and Dr. z during the networking luncheon. I am currently a student at Anne Arundel Community College and am going to transfer to the University of Alaska: Anchorage (UAA) to finish a dual-degree in biochemistry and political science. After graduation I hope to attend medical school, and then provide medical care to Alaska Native tribal villages while working with Alaska Native Tribal Health Consortium to advance the quality of care they receive through research and advocacy.
My interest in medicine began during my time as a member of the United States Air Force (USAF). In the USAF I was a dental laboratory technician working at Elmendorf Air Force Base hospital in Alaska. I worked in a dental clinic, but volunteered throughout the hospital to interact with doctors from varying specialties and increase my exposure to varying types of patients. When given the opportunity to participate in Operation Arctic Care, a joint military program providing care to remote Alaska Native villages; I discovered my passion for medicine. The experience allowed me the privilege to help take care of patients who ordinarily do not receive adequate medical care; it is my most rewarding volunteer experience to date and influenced me to leave the USAF to focus on school and pursue my passion.
Since leaving the USAF, I not only do school full-time, but volunteer often, work as tutor and supplemental instruction leader, and spend what little time is leftover with my wife and daughter. Although the schedule is stressful at times, it is my eagerness to learn the sciences and drive to achieve my goals that keeps me energetic along with the support of my family. Additionally, I've learned to utilize effective time-management strategies to succeed in all areas and achieve balance.
Another volunteer experience was of particular importance to me involved going to McKinley Technology High School in Washington D.C. with the American Chemical Society. We demonstrated chemistry experiments and talked to the students about pursuing STEM careers and the importance of school. It was important for me, because I grew up in an abusive environment and actually dropped out of high-school to leave the environment and start over. Determined to overcome my setbacks, I went on to earn my GED and enrolled in a program to turn that into a high school diploma then joined the USAF. I truly enjoyed conveying the importance of school via my own experiences to motivate students.
If selected for CCSEP, I believe my enthusiasm for medicine and science, eagerness to learn about the research process, determination to overcome challenges and flexibility would make me a great fit for the program. Furthermore, the program will increase my confidence and skills to succeed on my future undergraduate research project at UAA and build a foundation of knowledge that will help in my future career.
