Family's attention and children behavior - scholarship essay

Question: Recent figures show an increase in violent crime among youngsters under the age of 18. Some psychologists claim that the basic reason for this is that children these days are not getting the social and emotional learning they need from parents and teacher.

Teenage violence become more popular in the recently day. The social and emotional learning participate at this problem. Some psychologists claim that this skill can be learned from parents and teacher. I agree with this opinion although we know that there are many factor beside it in causing this case. I will explain from two viewpoint in this essay.

Firstly, parents are very closely with their children. They act as example for the other family's member. How parent behave will determine the growth childhood in the future. The full attention and prosperous family will produce the children's behavior in appropriate way. It means that a student which has a poor family will different with those in a rich family. As we know that the financial problem is one of the considering aspect.

Secondly, the youngster have many experience too in outside their home including studying, playing and traveling. They will have many friends as this activity. I think that friends reflect who you are and they should choose a kind person. Beside this, teacher has a great factor in educating their student at school, not only to teach but also more than it. Teacher must elaborate the method and the topic explained with the emotional and social skill every day.

In conclusion, the student behavior today reflect what will happen in the future. Getting the social and emotional learning from parents and teacher is one way to avoid the violent crime.

Hi :) I can help you with your grammar, here are some suggestions.

Recently, Teenage violence has become more popularprevalent.in the recently day.This problem is rooted inThe social and emotional learning.participate at this problem. Some psychologists claim that thisthese skills can be learned from parents and teachers. I agree with this opinion, although we know that there are many contributing factors to violence.beside it in causing this case.I will explain from two viewpoint in this essay.There are two apparent viewpoints that explore the causes of youth violence.

Firstly,P arents are very close with their children. They act as an example for theother members of the family.member.HowA parent's behavior will determine the child's growth childhood in the future. TheA fully attentive and prosperous family will produceaffect the children's behavior in an appropriate way. It means that a student whichwho has a poor family will behave different withthan those in a rich family. (This is not a very supportive reason for your argument) As we know,that the financial problemsisone of theshould beconsidered a contributing factor to violence.aspect.

I think we can add more. This is intellect topic
In the early ages of child, parents & teachers are mentor as well as father figure for him/her. Whatever they act,preach children follow & imbibe them blindly without knowing the consequences. It is almost sure the way they craft these soft & tender minds it will give permanent impression on them. Few parents want their children to be introvert as well as unexpressive. The reason is they think that they are very matured & experienced to handle this world either through their behavior as well as actions, but they forget their own children are not like that they even are not exposed to understand the crafty nature of whole world. This attitudes of not mingling with society as well as with same age group children make children frustrated that lead to teenage violance.

Most of parents as well as teachers compare one student with other this is very good attitude but even if they succeed they forget to praise them this again leads to inferiority complex in children the ultimate result is violence because they always feel supressed & inferior in order to express they use the weapon of violence.

I think Pipit has poured his/her heart to write this essay
Jenny please check my logic is correct?
Thanks in advance

Just work a little on your grammar. The rest is great.

Thank you so much jenny, by giving revision and suggestion for me..,I'm still have many problem in grammar,,and I must improve my capability before the final IELTS test around three weeks again. and I will wait the revision for the next paragraph. :)

For amitt and lizziemando,,thank you too for encouraging my knowledge in writing and grammer.... :)

Secondly, the youngster havehas many experiences too in outside their home including studying, playing and traveling. They will have many friends as this activity. I think that friendsfriend reflect who you are and they should choose a kind of person. Beside this("Beside" means "next to or along side of." "Besides" means "in addition to.")Besides , teacher has a great factor in educating their student at school, not only to teach but also more than it. Teacher must elaborate the method and the topic explained with the emotional and social skill every day.

Good Job Pipit. Lets try hard to gain 7. :)

oh thanks..., oh, ya.. please read my massage in your FB, I wait for your information : )