"I need financial assistance" for scholarship about academic and other achievements

Hi everybody!
I need to write an essay for scholarship about my academic and other achievements. But I'm not sure whether I should add to my essay about my financial situation and why do I need this scholarship. My English is not so well, so I hope you will correct me.

Statement A: Describe your academic and other achievements, your educational goals, and your plans for the future. How would a Ball State University education support your goals and plans?

....
And at the end:
What makes me happy is that BSU gives scholarships and financial aids to its students. This gives a great opportunity to students who really need to pay for their education in university. Since I discovered BSU, attending this place has been my fondest dream (and my furthest goal at this stage). But to achieve this goal I need financial assistance. My father was unemployed for some years up to this date and my mother (a teacher in a secondary school) earns a small salary for a family of 5.

I sincerely hope that you will seriously consider my application and make my dream come true!

"who really need to pay for their education in university" might be better reworded to "who could really need help in paying for their university education"

"Since I discovered BSU, attending this place has been my fondest dream"

"this place" sounds somewhat awkward. Perhaps try "Since I discovered it, attending BSU has been my fondest dream"