Prompt: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most influenced you. How are they shaping your future aspirations? [650 word Maximum]
Like many others, my parents came to the United States because they believed it was the land of opportunity, success, and freedom. I was only 10 months old when my mother and I left Nepal to join my father who was finishing his bachelor's degree in Texas as an international student.
I spent most of my early childhood in Fremont, California. Even as a young child, I was keenly aware of the fact that I differed greatly from my classmates. I looked nothing like them as I was one of the few South Asian kids in my class. The one factor that alienated me from my peers the most was my inability to speak English fluently. I was teased every time I stuttered or paused to think about what to say. Nepali was the mother tongue of both my parents and the language they were most comfortable speaking. It was only natural that it was also the first language I learned. Instead of embracing the details that made me different, however, I shunned them. Eventually, I only spoke in English, not realizing until much later that I was slowly forgetting Nepali. It must have been then that I took on the unofficial role as my mother's translator. As a shy child, it was often stressful having to explain what my mother meant to others. Although I hated it at the time, I believe the experience helped me understand at an early age how important it was to have others understand you.
I was 6 years old when we moved to Canada. I could not comprehend why we had to leave. After all, America was our home, was it not? Unfortunately, the only citizen in our family was my little sister Ahvasri who was only a toddler at the time. Moving to another place is something that always significantly changes your life; even more so when you move to another country. I found myself in a completely different situation- I was no longer part of the minority. In Surrey, British Columbia the majority of our neighbors were from Punjab, a region in India. That was not the only thing that changed, however. Being an engineer has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I wanted to be like my father and mother who had both originally gone to college for engineering (software and civil respectively). However, neither of them were engineers for long. In Canada, the poor job market forced my dad to take a job as a security guard as he struggled to find a job in his field. My mother, on the other hand, had been out of the industry for too long so she went back to school for nursing. These conditions weighed my family down with a huge financial burden. The ever increasing also rent forced us to move on several occasions. Consequently, I attended six different elementary schools. I was 11 when we finally moved back to the United States so that my father could do his Master's and get back into engineering.
Although we have finally come back to the country I have always considered home, life hasn't been easy. Since I don't have a green card, I am not allowed to have a job and the tuition most universities ask of international students is unbelievably high. On top of all that, there is the looming possibility of having to leave the country again. Despite all the struggles and the setbacks in my parents' careers, I have become even more determined to become an engineer as I remember the concern on my mother's face as my weary father came back from his night shifts every morning. I hope to become an environmental engineer and help the world use fresh water more efficiently.
Although I hated it at the time, I believed the experience helped me understand at an early age how important it was to have others understand you
I think this paragraph should be separated because it does not explain previous paragraph. so you can start a new idea here.
Being an engineer has been a dream of mine since I was a child. [...]
my opinion is ; you need to separate the paragraphs contained specific information. those are mixed, so the plot of your essay is complex.
the last paragraph should clearly state your achievement in academic field.
separate the paragraph which contains challenges and/or influences.
HI Kaustuvi, I must say the essay is well written, what I loved about it is, I'm like reading your biography in a summarized way. You didn't loose your reader in a boring life story, the details you stated, the elaboration and the sequence of the story is apt to the manner that the reader can follow through. For some reason though, I still find a few information that are somehow not necessary such as the lost of jobs and financial issues, but nevertheless, this are information that is vital in your essay and more importantly in answering the prompt.
For future reference, however, I suggest that when you write, do a quick draft, prioritize information that is necessary to the essay, this way you will be able to see which details should be included in the essay and which ones are not.
Overall, it's a well written essay and I hope to see more of your articles here on EF.
Immigration from Nepal to the United States ~ Questbridge scholarship bio essay
prompt: We are interested in learning more about you and the context in which you have grown up, formed your aspirations, and accomplished your academic successes. Please describe the factors and challenges that have most shaped your personal life and aspirations. How have these factors helped you to grow?
As Leonardo da Vinci once said, "the greatest deception men suffer is from their own opinions". In my case, I suffered by mindlessly adopting the negative opinions of others as my own. Although I grew up in Fremont, California like the rest of my peers, I was keenly aware that I was different from all of them. It was not difficult to see the many ways I was "abnormal". It bothered me that I looked nothing like them, as I was one of the few South Asian kids in my class. The one factor that alienated me from my peers the most was the language barrier.
Like many others, my parents came to the United States because they believed it was the land of opportunity, success, and freedom. I was only 10 months old when my mother and I left Nepal to join my father who was finishing his bachelor's degree in Texas as an international student. Nepali was the mother tongue of both my parents and naturally, the first language I learned. Since I did not start to learn English until later in my life, I was unable to speak it fluently. As a result, I was teased every time I stuttered or stumbled over my words. Rather than questioning the people around me, my childish mind blamed me being teased on my background.
Determined to fit in, I made every effort I could at the time to get better at English. I only spoke in English to my classmates, parents, and friends, even taking on the role of my mother's unofficial translator when my dad wasn't around. It was often stressful, as a shy child, having to explain what my mother meant to others. Although I loathed it at the time, I realize I helped prevent many possible misunderstandings between my mom and the people around her as I grew up. The experience helped me understand how important it was to be articulate when I communicated with others. Although I achieved my goal of speaking English "like an American,", it came at a cost. I didn't realize until much that I was slowly forgetting Nepali. Now when I attempt to speak my broken Nepalese to my relatives and others of the same nationality, they are the ones that tease and chastise me for not being able to speak my own language. Instead of embracing the things that made me unique, I shunned them.
I was 6 years old when we moved to Canada. With our visas about to expire, and my dad struggling to find another job, my parents believed it would be the best to move our family to America. At the time, I didn't realize how different my life would be as a result of immigrating again. Although I did not have to struggle with a language barrier again, life was difficult in Canada for different reasons. After a few unsuccessful attempts to find a job in software engineering, my dad had to take a low-paying job as a security guard to support our family. After years of being out of work in the US, my mom went back to school for nursing. These conditions weighed my family down with a huge financial burden. The ever-increasing rent also forced us to move on several occasions. Consequently, I attended six different elementary schools during the five years I lived there. While it was difficult having to switch schools and make new friends each time, looking back, each move exposed me to different kinds of people. It helped me become a more open-minded and understanding person.
I was 11 when we finally moved back to the United States so that my father could pursue his Master's degree and get back into engineering. Being an engineer has been a dream of mine since I was a child. I wanted to be like my parents who had both majored in the field. When I took Environmental Sustainability in my junior year, it opened my eyes to the severity of the global water crisis. Although it was disheartening to see that most of the crises were caused by contamination and poor decisions rather than natural calamities, it inspired me to contribute to finding the solutions to these environmental problems. I had finally found my passion. Today, however, it is not criticism that I face but the concern of my parents as they worry about my future and the burdens I will shoulder in college and later as I search for employment as a non-citizen. Although I have let the opinions of other "deceive" me in the past, I now know that if I work hard enough as I move forward, I can make my dreams a reality.
